Lost
by secretivemuch
Summary: Sometimes it's ok to be weak and let the people around you take care of you for a while but I can never be weak. I am Katniss Everdeen, the girl that skips class, smokes and stabs pen knives into mahogany desks. I am also the girl that no one knows the truth about and in this world I'm alone. High School just couldn't get any worse. Modern day, High School, drama, rumours, lies!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

As I sit here in English class, chewing the end of my pencil, I think that life is the queen of the bitches and Monday is definitely her heir to the throne. I denied everyone, including my best friend- ex best friend, Clove from contacting me. She still tries, even if it's just a hi in the hallway or asking me about homework, but I never answer. I am just too busy on the wrong side of the fence, hanging out with the wrong kind of people like Gale Hawthorne, he's on the wrong side of the fence too and he's also my boyfriend.

Normally I skip English class and I have good reason to, this class is as boring as hell, partly because Gale isn't here to pass notes to and mock the teacher, detentions are my weekly thing with Snow the principle after all I do live with the guy... yes that bastard is my grandfather, from my mother's side, he sent her to get her act together after not being able to look after us because my father died. I was doing just fine until he showed up.

"Miss Everdeen care to read the next paragraph?" asked Miss Whatsherface, yes I didn't know her name, like I said I turn up to class much

"Nope," I said popping the p and leaning back into the chair

"Didn't think so," she continued with the class, all teachers did it they didn't give a shit about me they just cared on getting every kid onto college so they would get a promotion, none of them knew my status with Snow so the didn't suck up to me, I was thankful for that at least. The bell rang and I packed my things away hurriedly

"Miss Everdeen," chimed the teacher

"What?" I growled

"Manners!" she screeched and I rolled my mind "I want a word with you," if her annoying voice and eccentric clothing wasn't enough this bitch was first period on Mondays, yes karma's a bitch, and now she wants a word with me. Oh joy! The rest of the class gave me a glace then left the classroom leaving me and the teacher alone "Katniss, dear-"

"What do you want?" I groaned popping a piece of gum into my mouth, spearmint- my favourite

"You are being warned Miss Everdeen, one day that boyfriend of yours wont be around and you will have nowhere to hide,"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I growled chewing my gum furiously, the noise it was making my mouth was making her twitch and to be honest I enjoyed watched the freak show of a woman, in front of me.

"Katniss, you've headed down the wrong path, with the smoking and skipping classes,"

"And do I care? Nope." I popped the p much to her aggravation

"You'll end up nowhere in life if you carry on like this," I took my pen knife out from my boot and stabbed it into her desk

"THAT IS MAHOGANY!" she cried

"Listen you old crow," I snapped "I do what I like and this stupid school isn't going to stop me,"

"Remove your pen knife from the desk, Katniss," I whipped it away safely into the hidden pocket in my boot, I rolled my eyes at the shaking woman. "There is another reason why I asked you to stay behind,"

"So what is it? I'm meeting Gale at my locker,"

"Ah Cato dear," she said pulling a boy from outside the classroom "Cato Ludwig this is Katniss Everdeen," I rolled my eyes at her and pulled my satchel up more on my left shoulder, it was hanging down my left side as I had not bothered to hook it across my body.

"Nice to meet you," said the blonde boy holding out his hand, I ignored him and turned back to the crazed woman

"What the fuck do you want me to do with him?" I asked bluntly

"Language!" she shrieked "I want you to show him around, show him what kind of people to hang around with,"

"Oh so he's a good two shoes? And you want to straighten me out? It's not going to work!"

"That's not why Katniss," she said softly

"Then what is it? Huh?"

"I am not in the position to tell," she said finally

"Well screw you," I said walking out the classroom, I was fully aware of the blonde boy, Cato, following behind me. I walked to my lockers and angrily shoved my English folder in. I was skipping second and third no questions asked.

"Hey babe," said a voice from behind me I closed my locker door and went to extreme lip lock with Gale to warn of the newbie that was falling me like a lost puppy. Gale was cool, but I didn't love him or anything, he was just there when I needed him, no questions asked.

"Spearmint my favourite," smiled Gale

"Whore." coughed Peeta Mellark

"Oh fuck off Mellark," Clove spat from down the hallway, I ignored her "Just because you can't get a girl," with that Peeta Mellark and so was Clove was gone and that left me and Gale and unfortunately blonde boy as well.

"Who's this?" asked Gale gesturing towards Cato

"English teacher's idea of straightening me out," I smirked looking at Gale who was towering above me with his arm blocking my view to the left but letting me look to my right, at Cato

"Trinket huh?"

"Like I give a fuck," I said truthfully

"So Blondie... what's your name?"

"Cato Ludwig," he said uncertainly

"The name's Gale Hawthorne, this is my girlfriend Katniss Everdeen and I'm sure you should get to next class," he said as the bell signalled the end of break

"So should you," he said slyly

"We've got a free period," lied Gale

"As if," Cato muttered, Gale chose not to hear with that the Cato guy walked off and Gale and I walked to the woods. Hopefully Cato would leave well alone, I didn't want my secrets getting out.

* * *

Gale and I said watching the sun on the lake, his arm was laid over my shoulder as he sat behind me slightly.

"Let me see your arms Katniss," he said suddenly, he was the only one who knew just because my sleeve had rolled up slightly, it was by pure accident, coincidently he asked me to be his girlfriend after because he said I was beautiful even with the scars.

"No," I said firmly, not looking at him but I felt his eyes on me

"Katniss-"

"Gale, I said no!" with that he pinned me to the ground and pulled up the sleeves of my black hoodie, he saw the new scars.

"When did you do it?" he asked getting off me and sitting down, I got up, pulled my sleeves down and zipped up my hoodie slightly

"Saturday... Prim wasn't there," I added the last part quickly

"I thought you stopped,"

"I'm sorry," I said covering my face, he made no attempt to comfort me because he couldn't, because he didn't understand. Because he was Gale and I was alien to him.

* * *

It was lunch and I had to use the bathroom and told Gale to go get our spot on the quad. Once I exited the bathroom I was immediately approached by Clove.

"Katniss..." she began but I didn't answer "Please, I want my best friend back," I sighed in response "Katniss, stop pushing me away like this, you must need a girl to talk to sometimes and not just Prim," she touched my shoulder but I pushed her hand away "Katniss, you've been lost in all the craziness now Finn is gone and then... well you know, Katniss I miss you, Finn misses you, we Skype every night and he always asks about you! We want our best friend back," I pushed past her and began walking to the quad until Cato started walking next to me

"What was that all about?" he asked concerned

"Nothing you need to worry about,"

"So are you going to tell me why you're acting as some bad ass bitch that rules the school with her emo boyfriend?" I just slapped him, I wasn't a violent person but my hand made contact with his face, people looked but I didn't care, today would be over soon. Like I said Monday's the heir to the bitch's throne.

"Don't you dare. You don't know a thing about me or what I've been through ad don't you dare make jokes about Gale so why don't you just fuck off to wherever you came from because I don't want to hear it," I said leaving him in the hallway alone, shocked.

I joined Gale at our spot on the quad. I get a ride on his bike home as I would never accept a ride from Snow, even if I had to walk. When I got home I twisted the screw out of my pencil sharpener and held the blade between my thumb and fore finger letting it shine in the light but the blonde boy with ice blue eyes wouldn't leave my mind. Even with the red sheen of blood dripping down my arms all I could see were those two ice blue eyes. His ice blue eyes.

* * *

What did you think? Reviews please, could really get into this one! Possibly thirty chapters or more!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys thanks for the reviews and PMs, im glad that you like this. Here's some detail about this... Katniss is the kind of person that trusts know one, we don't quite know her past yet, but in this chapter there is a lot of drama involving Cato, Katniss, Gale and Clove maybe even a bit of Mellark in there... Enjoy x

* * *

Chapter Two

The sound of my phone ringing woke me up. I opened my eyes sleepily and felt my way cross the bedside cabinet to my phone and slid it over and pressed answer.

"This better be good," I muttered

"Hey babe," unmistakeably Gale

"Really? This time of the morning," he chuckled at my remark

"I'm going to be late, so I guess you're gonna have to get a lift with old Snowy,"

"As if! I'll walk thanks,"

"So stubborn," he chuckled "Anyways I'll definitely be back by lunch, kay?"

"Okay, bye Gale," I said hanging up. I dragged myself out the warm covers of my bed and slid over to the bathroom. I took a shower and brushed my teeth then changed into some black jeans, a Shinedown t-shirt and a dark purple hoodie. I blow dried my hair and put it in its signature braid.

I grabbed my satchel and started walking to school at a very slow pace with my headphones in listening to How I Disappear and a scowl on my face that says 'fuck off'

"Hey," said Cato walking next to me, oh joy another conversation with my new bff! note the sarcasm here!

"What do you want Cato?" I spat taking out one headphone

"I thought you'd be with that boyfriend of yours,"

"Well he's busy,"

"Doing what?"

"Getting his bike M.O.T," I lied, to be honest I didn't know why Gale was going to be late

"Sure Katniss," he said shaking his head knowingly

"Whatever," I said shoving my headphone back into my ear and turning my volume up in a way to say 'fuck off' he got the message and crossed the road back to his newly found friend Marvel.

* * *

When I got to school, it was the usual... Clove begging me to talk to her and me ignoring her... the odd comment from Peeta Mellark calling me a whore... people laughing at his jokes... the usual.

I had a free period, a real one this time, and I ran off to the woods where Gale and I sat yesterday. I watched the sun on the lake until a shadow appeared, expecting it to be Gale I turned around. It wasn't Gale. It was Cato.

"Can I help you?" I said sarcastically

"Not really,"

"Then why are you here, Cato?"

"I wanted to talk to you,"

"Oh joy my new bff wants to talk to me!" I said with a fake giggled "Now really what do you want?" I said firmly now

"Well... yesterday... I... um..."

"Spit it out!"

"I saw you and Gale here,"

"What did you see?" I asked panicked

"I saw everything Katniss,"

"Oh brilliant, just what I need! Another person to know! It was hard enough with Gale!"

"I saw how he forced you to show him your arms," he said gently

"He wants to do what's best for me," I somewhat whispered

"I know,"

"No! You don't! No one understands!" he answered by rolling up his sleeves, revealing scars like mine. Before I knew what I was doing I was tracing them with my fingers like I would do with mine.

"That's why Trinket paired us up," I freeze looking up at those icy blue eyes

"Why would Trinket know?"

"What do you mean?"

"How does Trinket know what I do?"

"She said that you are like me and we go through the same things, that we both... yanno,"

"The only person I told was Gale,"

"Then how does Trinket know?"

"That son of a bitch," I half whisper half shout "He said he cared about me, he promised not to tell,"

"I'm sure he didn't mean to..."

"Gale always means to."

* * *

There he was leaning against my locker waiting for me.

"Hey babe," he said as I stood in front of him, he came forward to kiss me but I pushed him away

"Hey yourself," I snapped. People were already looking, great cause they were in for a show...

"What's up?"

"You tell me Gale,"

"I have no idea what you are talking about!"

"You told Trinket!"

"I had to!"

"You didn't! You promised and don't feed me all that bullshit about your bike I know where you were today," it was true I knew where he was today, like any other day he didn't come in

"And what's that then Katniss?" he hissed

"You were visiting your slut," otherwise known as Glimmer Sparks, the first time I met her I called her Glitter and I have been ever since just to annoy her. There was a few gasps from the audience surrounding us.

"Katniss-"

"You said that you were done with her when you met me!"

"Katniss-"

"No! Shut up! I'm sick and tried of ignoring the truth and the truth is that you pity me and you kick your kicks from some slut you used to go out with!"

"I don't pity you!"

"Then what do you think of me Gale? Huh? That's right you think that I'm stupid, worthless, like everybody else!"

"It's not my fault you're a suicidal freak," slap. my hand connected with his face. More gasps and a few open mouths.

"I am not suicidal,"

"No you just cut yourself don't you," I stood frozen as the words of others span round me

"Attention whore."

"Freak,"

"Crazy,"

"Slut." none of which belonged to Peeta Mellark who was standing in my line of view with his mouth wide open.

I stood frozen watching the person I used to know staring back at me.

"We're done," I said in a whisper but everyone heard. I hand touched my shoulder and I turned to find Clove.

"Show's over!" shouted Cato "Move!" they crowds dispersed and Clove took me inside the girls' bathroom.

* * *

"Katniss..."

"I don't want your pity," I said firmly but my voice broke

"I don't pity you Katniss, you're my best friend, I'm here to help you,"

"How can you? I've hurt you and Finnick so much, you're supposed to hate me,"

"Katniss, you're like my sister, how can I hate you?" with that she gave me a hug, she asked no more questions and just gave me time to think

"Thank you," I whispered and she nodded in reply

"Come on, let's go get some lunch," she said linking her arm with mine. I walked with her to the cafeteria and everyone turned and looked. Clove pulled me to a table with two empty seats and we sat down. I hadn't realised how much I was shaking. The people at the table immediately moved away in disgust muttering words liked freak and whore.

"These seats taken?" asked a voice from behind, I turned to see Cato, Marvel and Peeta Mellark standing there.

"No," answer Clove and they sat down

"Sorry about calling you a whore all those times," said Peeta playing with his food

"It's fine, forgive and forget right?"

"What about Gale?" asked Marvel I shrugged not knowing what would happen between me and Gale

"He's the past," said Clove "Friends are the future,"

"I'm here for you," said Peeta

"Me too," said Cato

"Me three," said Marvel

"Hell, I've always been here for you," said Clove

"Thank you," I whispered and for once in my life I knew that I wasn't being pitied

* * *

Ooh! What did you think about the break up? I know it's only chapter two but it's the psychological side to this one xxx Reviews please!


	3. Chapter 3

I have been getting the thumbs up from you guys then? I really hope that you are enjoying Lost, it's been fun to write so far because this side of Katniss is the total opposite to me because is a bold person but anyways it's been challenging and here's your chapter three! Be warned! I sat a cried writing the middle of this chapter!

* * *

Chapter Three

It had been a week since that day. It had been a week since I made some real friends, the type that wouldn't judge me because of past actions even though they were still oblivious to what actually happened to me. I walked to school adding friends one by one, Cato would walk me from the corner of the house then Marvel would tag along, then Clove and finally Peeta. For the first couple days Gale tried to pick me up but I ignored him and carried on walking.

We walked to school and there was an unfamiliar blue sports car and there was a boy with bronze hair and tanned body.

"Miss me?"

"Finnick!" shouted Clove and I at the same time, we ran into his arms for a hug

"What are you doing here?" asked Clove, Finnick had gone to college, he was a year older than us

"It's called work experience,"

"You, work?" I asked, this did not sound like Finnick, Finnick was a flirt and Clove and I were the only ones that didn't flirt back and rejected him, so we immediately became friends

"I'm here to coach the girls' swimming team,"

"There it is!" I muttered

* * *

We sat in a circle on the quad with Finnick talking about his first day of work experience, he would be in the area for two weeks.

"So Kitty Kat, what happened? Last week I got an update from Clove saying that nothing had changed,"

"I guess I owe you all an explanation,"

"You don't owe us anything," said Peeta

"But I do, it's only fair that you know what happened,"

"You don't have to," whispered Cato

"No I want to," I took a deep breathe "But if you don't want to stay-"

"Katniss, we're your friends we won't leave you, ever," said Marvel I nodded

"Ok," I took another deep breathe "It started about three years ago when my dad died. My mom was broken but I had to stay strong, she started using drugs and left me and Prim to fend for ourselves for weeks at a time. When she did come home she was either drunk or high and she would yell at us, slap us, I just tried to get Prim out the way. She told me I was worthless, that I was ugly and stupid and that my father never loved me and my friends never liked me, my father was everything me and when he died everything just stopped. I even started to believe what she was saying. Somehow my grandfather, my mother's father, found out, I don't know how and I don't know why but he sent my mom off to some fancy rehab place hoping that she would get better, she's there now. I am currently living in that big white mansion that you never see anybody go in or out of, apart from one black car. It's lonely there. It's the home of Cornelius Snow, our principle and my grandfather," there were a few silent wows but I continued "I kept getting these nightmares about what happened the day my father died and the days when my mother would come home, the pain relaxed me and as stupid as it sounds I enjoyed doing it. It wasn't trying to kill myself like everyone thinks, it just felt like I was taking away part of that pain but it never worked and I kept doing it because I just heard over and over again that I was worthless and that my father didn't deserve me, that I was stupid," I took a moment to calm down

"You sure you can go on?" asked Clove with her hand on my shoulder, I nodded slowly

"At this point Gale was just a friend, no one ever knew about my parents apart from Prim and my grandfather, it was all very quiet because it was a shameful thing for the family. One day we were going to hang out in the woods, Prim sent him upstairs to my room she didn't know, no one knew. I was wearing a t-shirt which was stupid of me and he didn't knock he just walked in whilst I was... he went crazy. He took me to the woods and he tried to talk some sense into me, but it wouldn't work, he didn't understand anything. How could he?" I pulled my sleeves up slightly "I never showed him my scars, he forced me to show him, and when he saw them he took pity on me but he said he was only worried about me because he liked me more than a friend, he only asked me out because he thought that he could stop me... and when he couldn't he got angry and told me I was stupid, that all led up to last week, when he shouted it to everyone. The thing that I wanted to keep a secret, I only started doing it because I thought that the memories would fade with the scars, I was wrong. Nothing fades not even the scars,"

They were quiet for a moment and then Clove stood up and hugged me, I hadn't noticed the tears until now.

"Katniss Everdeen, you are so strong but sometimes it's ok to weak sometimes," she whispered "I'm always here for you,"

"I think this calls for a movie night," smirked Finnick "Alright Kitty Kat, it's gonna be at your place,"

"Finn-"

"No! No! We're having a movie night and we're going too have fun!" he said putting his hand up declaring my voice useless "I have to leave in a few minutes but I will see you later, give me you address and I will see you there at four o'clock!"

How could I argue with that?

* * *

We sat dotted around my bed. Clove and I laid next to each other and Cato sat in front of the bed next to Marvel, Finnick and Peeta where leaning on the side of the bed and we were all watching She's The Man.

"Remind me again, why we're watching this," Peeta moans "It's a chick flick!"

"It's funny!" protested Clove

"And Channing Tatum is HOT!" squealed Finnick, everyone turned to face him with a raised eyebrow "What he's the celebrity I would fuck if I was gay!"

"Eww!" Clove and I chorused

"Finn are you sure that you're not gay?"

"I'm not! Why do you think that I only volunteered to help the girls' swimming team?" he said wiggling his eyebrows

"Eww!" Clove and I continued then everybody laughed

"Ok," said Clove "Favourite celebrity crush! Go!" she said shoving a piece of popcorn in her mouth

"Jennifer Lawrence, definitely," said Peeta

"Leven Rambin," said Marvel rubbing his hands together and I rolled my eyes "What?! She's hot!"

"Josh Hutcherson!" said Clove smiling

"Alexander Ludwig," I said blushing

"He's hot, even though he has the same surname as Cato."

"We're not related!" protested Cato

"Whatever," said Clove "Anyways what about you Cato, who's your celebrity crush?"

"I don't really have one..."

"How can you not!" yelled Finnick "Don't tell me! You have a girlfriend back home!"

"No, I don't,"

"So we're all single and loving it!" said Finnick doing a little happy dance.

What is wrong with that boy?

* * *

After more popcorn and ice cream and pizza everyone started to go home, until it was just Peeta, Cato and I left. I walked Peeta to the door after Cato left his phone in my room.

"It was fun tonight," said Peeta standing in the doorway

"Thanks for coming over,"

"Anything for you Katniss," he said with a cheeky half smile

"Oh shut up," I said rolling my eyes

"Really, if you need anything, you have my number,"

"Thanks Peeta," I smiled

"Well see you tomorrow," he smiled

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," he smiled again and walked away waving I run upstairs to go find Cato.

He was standing at the fire place in my room looking at the picture of me, Prim, my mother and my father.

"Sorry, I was just coming down," he said

"It's fine," I said with a half smile "You found them then," he nodded slowly

"You were a very adorable little girl,"

"Thanks," I said putting a stray piece of hair behind my ear

"You're never alone Katniss,"

"Thank you, Cato,"

"You have no reason to thank me for that,"

"No, not just that for telling me the truth, for that thank you," he walked closer to me

"Everyone deserves the truth," he paused "I'll let myself out," and with that he left.

There's more to Cato than what meets the eye.

* * *

What did you think? Reviews please!


	4. Chapter 4

Aren't you lucky little things!- Two chapters in one day! hah! Well anyways I just thought I would say that the amount of reviews im getting compared to the amount of view is depressing so come on guys! Reviews make me type faster! I don't care whether you're a guest or not just review me please!

* * *

Chapter Four

"Hey," said Cato knocking on my door lightly before opening it "You're sister let me in,"

"Hey," I said, I was sat cross legged on my bed watching this TV show called Awkward. and I was wrapped up in all the drama. I hesitantly turned the TV off, that show was so damn good! "What's up?" I asked as he sat down on the bed opposite me with his legs crossed like mine.

"Not much, just came to see if you were ok,"

"You've been doing a lot of that lately," I smirked

"I was wondering, how things were going..."

"Err..."

"I won't get mad," he said encouraging me

"Friday night," I said shamefully

"Will you show me?" I hesitantly rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie revealing the old scars and the new looking cuts

"I'm sorry," I said shielding my face

"Katniss," he said putting his hand on my leg "Katniss, look at me," I dared to peek through my fingers "I'm not mad, that's why I'm here- to help," he said with a comforting smile. I removed my hands from my face and pulled my sleeves down over my handing and I started playing with the cuffs shyly

"Gale always used to get angry," I said not looking at my hands fiddling with the cuffs of my hoodie "He said it was stupid-"

"It's not stupid," he sighed "I know, I've been there," he sighed

"W-Why did you start?" I stuttered "Only you don't have to tell me if you don't want to,"

"I want to," he said slowly, we reversed roles. I was sat watching him whilst he looked at his feet "My mother died of cancer when I was young, my father became an alcoholic and would constantly tell me that I was the reason that my mother died, that I was a mistake, that I was stupid. I believed him like you believed your mom," he wasn't anything like me, he wasn't about to burst into tears, he remained strong "Child services found out and I moved in with my aunt. It was hard, stopping, because what I was doing felt so right. I used a blade from a pencil sharpener to do it and one day I just stopped and I got so angry with myself for doing it. I walked to the pond at the bottom of our garden and through the blade in,"

"Do you- no never mind," we reversed roles again

"No, ask me, it's fine," he said looking at me concerned

"Do you ever still want to... you know?"

"Like everyday when I wake up in the middle of the night,"

"Can you help me?" I asked looking up at him "I want to be pretty, I want the scars to fade. Can you help me?"

"Katniss you don't need the scars to fade to be pretty but I would be honoured," he said looking straight at me and for once I knew that the person in front of me wasn't lying.

* * *

"Skipping again Miss Everdeen?" asked Cato from behind me. I was sat in front of the lake in the woods, where I had sat so many times before

"Free period," I said without looking at him

"What are you doing out here? It's real cold!" he said sitting down next to me

"I'm fine," I said staring at the water

"No you're not, your shaking," and I was but it wasn't the cold that was making me shake, he slipped his jacket off and placed it around my shoulders, I was ready to protest but he put his hand up in the air to silence me I twiddled the blades between my fingers "So today's the today huh?" he said staring at the blade between my fingers

"Yeah, I want to do it, it's caused so much pain and I just want it gone!"

"You know I typed your name into Facebook,"

"Oh god," I said quietly

"Did you know how many people have posted rude things on your wall since Gale said that two weeks ago?"

"I stopped bothering to check it two days after..."

"Why didn't you tell us?" he didn't sound angry, he sounded calm which confused me. Gale would have been furious.

"You've been burdened with enough of my shit,"

"Clove would have wanted to know," his voice was still calm

"I know... I just couldn't," I was being truthful

"Do you want to know why I moved here?"

"I don't want you to feel pressured in tell me any of this,"

"I was called all those names you were called and on Facebook too, that's why I moved... to get away from it all,"

"Did it?" I said "Did it go away?"

"The stuff on the internet didn't, but I can live with that,"

"You're so strong, you know that,"

"Not as strong as you, you had to do so many things I didn't like look after you sister, at least I moved in with people I knew,"

"He's barely there anyways,"

"That doesn't matter,"

"You what the stupid thing is?" I asked and he shook his head "I thought that everything would be a whole lot better living with Snow because he had money and everything, but he isn't. He's never there and never comforts Prim when she has one of her nightmares. Most nights she climbs into my bed and we sit together for an hour or two and I sing her, her favourite lullaby. Then she goes back to her room for the couple hours we have left,"

"You're so strong Katniss and you don't even know it,"

"Well right now I just can't help but fell weak and powerless,"

"Sometimes it's ok to be weak,"

"I guess you're right," I said looking down at the small blade still between my fingers "I guess this is good bye to bad news," I said standing up and I flung the blade into the water, it didn't float like I imagined, it just sank and it was gone forever.

* * *

"Five days," I say triumphantly to my friends, Peeta gives me his award winning smile and Clove claps her hands whilst Marvel gives me a high five. Cato stands smiling at me whilst Finnick does a little happy dance for me. It's also Finnick's last week before he jets off to college again, his work experience got extended to two weeks after they found out that Finnick was doing 'such a good job' more like ogling at the girls' swim team.

"Let's celebrate," dance Finnick

"Really?" I said closing my locker and turning to look at him

"Yep," he smiled "My parents are away this weekend!" then his voice turns into a shout "PARTY AT MY PLACE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT EVERYONE IS INVITED!"

God Finnick and his ideas.

* * *

What did you think? Reviews please! They make me type faster!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys thanks for the awesome reviews! But I am so greedy that I want more! Here's to the party going on in this chapter!

-Court x

* * *

C

Chapter Five

Whilst getting ready for Finnick's leaving party I think over the past month.

My life had evolved from being this weird girl that barely said anything to anyone and only had one friend to going to parties and ignoring the annoying ex-boyfriend that troubled her past as well as the jerks that think that her cutting was just suicide attempt after suicide attempt.

Screw them.

I wasn't just celebrating Finnick's lap of honour, I was celebrating on my own accord. Nearly two weeks since I threw that got damn blade in that lake. I wasn't sure whether I was going to go down that particular road again but I knew one thing-

After nearly two hundred missed or rather ignored calls and nearly three hundred ignored texts Gale would do anything to get in my way, but sure enough by the end of the night he would be flirting with the krunks, getting drunk and most probably getting laid by his bitch Glimmer.

To be honest it didn't bother me anymore because my friends stuck out for me even when they were part of the ridicule. Yes being a senior definitely sucked. But having my friends there with me made it suck a lot less.

I put on my dark denim shorts and tucked loosely in my Halestorm tee. I rounded the look of with a pair of black converse and a dark purple hoodie. I wasn't one to be attacked by the make up box, so I let myself be natural as the norm and my hair was up in it's usual braid. Screw Prim's attempts to get me into a dress after all it was just another kegger, probably with half the school, but definitely nothing to be looking forward.

The door bell rang it's snobby chime and I grabbed my small fringed purse and wrapped it over one shoulder not bothering to hook it over my body.

"I'm out Prim, don't stay up too late," I called

"I won't," she called back as I hopped down the stairs whilst zipping up my bag.

"I thought you were driving," I said closing the door behind me

"Nope," smiled Clove "Kat, we're getting shitfaced! I am not driving,"

"Well I'll be walking you home because I am not getting drunk," with that my phone dinged indicating I had a text and I pulled it out my bag

**C u the party gorgeous ;)  
-Gale**

I rolled my eyes and deleted the text then stuffed the phone in my bag

"Screw it, I'm getting drunk."

* * *

"Kitty Kat," Oh god, he's drunk already, should've guessed seeing as the music could be heard down the street and people were already stumbling onto the front lawn. It was only eight pm...

"Hey Finn," said Clove

"Don't you two look nice," he winked

"Shut up and let us in dumbass," snarled Clove pushing her way inside

"I think the term is drunk ass," hiccupped Finnick

"I think you stand corrected," I laughed and Clove rolled her eyes. Finnick shut the door.

It stunk of sweat, gross perfume and alcohol, like any party should. Clove and I walked through the lounge with a couple stares. Clove them the finger and the odd 'what are you looking at dumbass?' routine. God I loved that girl.

Finally we made it through to the kitchen and found Peeta, Marvel and Cato. We had become close friends but not even Clove knew about how often Cato came over to check on me.

"Hey," said Clove hitching herself up on the counter

"Ladies," winked Marvel taking off his hat, immediately Clove grabbed his dub step hat and put it on her own head. It looked better on her anyways and Marvel didn't protest.

"Two weeks," Cato whispered to me with a smile

"Yup," I smiled back

"You look nice," whispered Peeta, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks

"Anyways... pass me a beer bitches!" Marvel gladly handed me one but Peeta held his arm back

"Are you sure?... I mean-"

"Puh-lease," said Clove "This girl can do shots better than Finn-Finn over there!" at this point Finnick falls flat on his face and we all laughed

"He won't be seeing much of the party," muttered Cato, then I saw Gale with Glimmer, oh joy! I took the beer from his Marvels hand and took most of it down in one gulp

"Woah! slow down there Kat!" said Peeta holding my bottle

"Please, I need to at least be the tiniest bit drunk if I've got to put up with them-" I said pointing to Gale and Glimmer who were grinding up against each other "-Doing that! Ugh!" Peeta laughed and let go of the bottle, I victoriously finished the bottle in a couple seconds.

"That's true,"

"Bottoms up!" shouted Clove as she placed a shot in front of each of us and I immediately drank it. My phone dinged signally another text and I immediately looked at it.

**I no u want 2 b in Glimmer's place ;)  
-Gale**

"Ugh," I said rolling my eyes

"What's up?" asked Peeta looking over my shoulder at my phone

"Who you think?" I moaned

"That is just gross," he said handing me my phone back

"HEY GALE, GLIMMER! GO FILM A PORNO SOMEWHERE ELSE!" shouted Marvel and we laughed. Gale shot him a glare and we all downed another shot.

* * *

Ok, so I wasn't sober anymore for definite but I could still walk straight line, I had to because Clove wouldn't be able to stand still in a couple drinks time let alone walk. I was getting hot, so I took myself outside to cool down. I used to love Finnick's garden, the smell of fragrant flowers was now taken over by the pungent smell of alcohol and vomit. I sat down on the bench and looked up at the stars.

'I really need to figure out what I'm going to do with myself' I thought to myself. After all senior year was nearly over and I needed to start a career pretty soon but hey, I stay had old granddaddy to look after me ey?

"HEY GORGEOUS," slurred Gale tripping out of the house onto the patio, I pulled a face of disgust I could smell the alcohol radiating off him and he was still a good three meters away.

"What do you want Gale?" I said sternly

"Do I need a reason to visit my favourite girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend," I corrected

"Who gives I shit, I know you still want me," he said licking his lips

"Not ever. Not in a billion years."

"Oh come on Kitty," he said edging towards the bench

"My name is Katniss, KAT-NISS!"

"Come on, let's take this somewhere more private," he hissed

"Hell no."

"Ooh! Trying to be dirty are we?" he said licking his lips again

"Piss off Gale," I said

"Ooh you are a dirty girl," he said climbing on top off me

"Gale get off!" I shouted trying to push him but he was too strong even for a drunk. He started kissing my neck. "Get off!" I shouted louder this time

"She said get off," said a voice from behind Gale. It was familiar but I couldn't remember for the life of me who it was

"Let me get on with my own business," hissed Gale "Glimmer's free," he said. That was it. Gale was being ripped off me. Revealing Cato punching him in the face "Fine, fine," spat Gale "I'll go,' with that he walked to the door "See you later darling," he said with a wink

"I severely doubt that," said Cato rolling his eyes and Gale glared at him then walked inside swearing

"Thanks," I said quietly

"You are always thanking me," he said sitting down next to me and putting his arm around me

"Then stop saving me," I muttered

"We both know that no one would have let Gale do anything to you,"

"Pfft! Anybody else would have let him because they think I'm an attention whore,"

"I could have been worse," he said

"If I was drunk I don't know what I wouldn't have done,"

"I think you still would have told him to go away,"

"Probably in a not so nice way," I muttered "I'm going to find Clove, to head home, it is midnight after all," I said standing up

"Need any help walking her home?" he said standing up next to me

"Nah, I'll be fine,"

"That's what you always say,"

"This time, I mean it,"

"Call me if you need anything," he said with a half smile

"I will,"

"Stay safe."

* * *

I woke up the next morning. Clove next to me on my double bed. She couldn't reach home in the state she was in, so I used her phone to text her dad, her step-bitch wouldn't have cared anyways.

"Get up," I said throwing a pillow at her after exiting my bathroom after shower. I quickly rebraided my hair as I did this.

"Five more minutes!" she groaned

"Do you want me to get a bowl of water?"

"I'm up! I'm up!" she said sitting up, knowing that I wasn't joking "Ugh! My head!" she said throwing her head back down in the pillows

"Go take a shower, I'll make you a coffee and get you some Advil for your hang over,"

"How come you don't have one?"

"Because I did not get drunk,"

"Meh," she said waving her hand from the bed

"I can still fetch the water..."

"I'll be down in twenty minutes..."

* * *

Clove was nursing her hang over the whole day.

"You look like shit," said Marvel to Clove as he walked in the living room with Peeta and Cato.

"I feel like shit," she moaned

"Then how come Katniss is fine?" asked Peeta

"I am not a lightweight," I said sitting back down on the sofa and put my feet on Cato whilst slurping my coffee. Peeta sat looking at us oddly whilst Clove moaned about her headache.

"This movie is crap." I said grabbed the remote and flicking through the channels

"Put it back on!" moaned Marvel

"Fine..." I said putting it back on and putting the remote back down, I took another slurp off coffee and Peeta was still looking at me and Cato oddly"What?" I asked innocently not understanding what the hell he was looking at.

"You two look like a couple," said Peeta

"Pfft!" I spat out my coffee and was choking on air "We- are- not- a- couple!" I said between coughs and Marvel, Clove and Peeta started laughing their asses off

"Let's just watch the movie," said Cato and we started paying attention to some stupid comedy called John Tucker Must Die.

Me and Cato! A couple! As if!

* * *

What did you think? Development in the relationship! HALLEUJAH! HALLEUJAH! Reviews please! x

-Court x


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! Double whammy again! But I really do want some more reviews please! Anyways life goes on after Finnick's party and Clove's hang over. Things are gonna get awkward and slightly weird, trust me this chapter is gonna be awesome!

* * *

Chapter Six

I walked into school on Monday with my friends as usual, recently I have been getting a lot of texts and missed calls from Gale about what happened at Finnick's party, I wasn't worried about it.

"Kill me now we have music," groaned Marvel

"Oh shut up me and Katniss love music don't we?" said Clove, I nodded

"I haven't actually turned up for two years but yanno..."

"Doesn't matter, we have a new teacher," said Peeta

"His name's-

* * *

"-Cinna, and seeing as I haven't seen you before Katniss I would love to hear you sing, Clove says that you are quite something," said the black middle aged man standing in front of me with gold eyeliner and black hair

"Well, sure but I haven't really got a song,"

"Just pick anything you know, preferably upbeat cause then we'll all be in a happy mood," that one was directed at Marvel

"What did I ever do to you?" screeched Marvel and everyone laugh

I walked to the front and recalled a song my dad used to love. I took a deep breath and began to sing.

_Happiness hit her like a train on a track_  
_Coming towards her stuck still no turning back_  
_She hid around corners and she hid under beds_  
_She killed it with kisses and from it she fled_  
_With every bubble she sank with her drink_  
_And washed it away down the kitchen sink_

_The dog days are over_  
_The dog days are done_  
_The horses are coming_  
_So you better run_

_Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father_  
_Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers_  
_Leave all your love and your longing behind_  
_You can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

_The dog days are over_  
_The dog days are done_  
_Can you hear the horses?_  
_'Cause here they come_

_And I never wanted anything from you_  
_Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh_  
_Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back_  
_Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that_

_The dog days are over_  
_The dog days are done_  
_Can you hear the horses?_  
_'Cause here they come_

_Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father_  
_Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers_  
_Leave all your love and your longing behind_  
_You can't carry it with you if you want to survive_

_The dog days are over_  
_The dog days are done_  
_Can you hear the horses?_  
_'Cause here they come_

_The dog days are over_  
_The dog days are done_  
_The horses are coming_  
_So you better run _

I looked around the room and everyone's jaws were wide open, even the kids that called me an attention whore. Was I really that bad? I walked over and sat back down next to Clove.

"Was I really that bad?" I whispered

"BAD?" screeched Marvel who stood up from his seat "THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!"

"MARVEL!" shouted Cinna "As amazing as that was you did not need to swear, you're already on bad terms with me!" we all sniggered and Marvel sat back down

"So I was alright?" I asked Peeta

"Amazing," he winked

"Now class for the rest of the term I want you to work in a group of about five and write a song to perform,"

We immediately span around and looked at each other. (1) Peeta (2) Cato (3) Marvel (4) Clove (5) Me.

Perfection.

"So let's sort out who's doing what," said Marvel enthustically "Katniss you're singing,"

"Ok..."

"Dibs on drums," said Peeta

"Bass, like a boss," said Marvel

"Electric guitar," said Cato making the rock sign with his hands

"What about you Clove?" I asked

"I can't do anything..."

"Sure you can't I remember when we used to sing together!" I said

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yah-huh!"

"No!"

"Please Clovey Wovey," said Marvel fluttering his eyelashes

"I will if you promise never to call me that ever again!"

"DONE." we all said together.

Being in a band would be fun. Now all we needed was a name...

* * *

We were in my room sharing a couple pizzas whilst debating a band name.

"How about Marvel's Marvellous?" asked you guessed it Marvel

"No!" we all said together

"Whip it?" asked Peeta

"Sounds sexual," said Marvel going to take a bite of his pizza

"Dirty minded," said Clove taking the pizza from his hands and eating it herself

"Hey!" he called back to Clove

"Careers?" asked Cato

"Boring!" yawned Clove

"School Sucks Some Serious Ass?" said Peeta

"Too long!" moaned Marvel

"School Sucks?" Marvel only answered by yawning and then received another light slap on the back of the head from Clove.

"Think of something personal to us all..." I said

"Like what?" asked Clove

"Something that joins us all together," said Cato catching my drift, we all sat there together for a moment thinking

"Lost!" we all say together except Marvel. It was pretty true. Since that first day when we all sat together everyone had been ignoring us like the plague and in a way we were lost from everything we knew and loved but now the sense of being lost was a good thing. It meant friends that wouldn't judge us or be stupid -not including Marvel on that last one- and somewhere along the way we would find the right way and get a little less lost on the way to pure sanity.

"I don't know, I still think Marvel's Marvellous," he said but Clove and I reacted at the same time and pushed him off my bed

"Lost." we all smiled. I liked it.

* * *

Later that night on my own I find an old journal I wrote whilst I was cutting and I got another book and started writing down words which could be formed into lyrics. I carefully read through the blood stained and tear stained pages and began putting a song together.

With my pencil quickly rushing against the paper, I felt some kind of ease. Could this be something I wanted to do in life? Hell I needed to sort my shit out but maybe this whole music project would help. It would mean I'd get to hang out with my friends more and get a good grade for the class I had been skipping the most. After my last report card granddaddy wasn't too happy. Oops. He blamed Gale and banished me from ever seeing him again which wasn't really a problem. But I didn't mention it else he could change my punishment. I am such a rebel.

* * *

Everyone was sat at the lunch table already when I got there.

"It's about time," said Marvel crossing his arms over his chest and Clove slapped him over the back of the head for being so rude

"I have reason to be late," I said and Cato gave me a concerned look. Then I pulled out both books and placed them on the table. "One is my journal for when I... and the other contains a bunch of ideas we could use to write a song from the journal," Marvel immediately went to pick up the journal but I pulled it away from him "The journal is not for reading," I said firmly.

Slowly they began flicking through the pages I had filled the night before, nodded their heads.

"Now we just have to make them into a song," smiled Peeta then he turned to me and said more quietly "You have a beautiful voice, Katniss."

* * *

So what did you think 'Lost.' huh? In the next chapter it could involve a song which I wrote myself... it's not any good, it's just used as it because I don't want to put some song here by an artist and then be breaking some kind of law or something... hope you enjoyed the chapter! I want more REVIEWS!  
-Court x


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Getting more reviews than normal but still not enough! Tell you friends! Put me in a status on twitter or Facebook! So anyways here's your chapter, this one is gonna be quite a safe chapter but then the next one goes to being mean against Katniss... anyways here's your chapter! **AN: I do not own any of the songs that 'Katniss has written' they are purely from another artist.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

**Bold- Both **_(in brackets)- Clove Normal- Katniss_

_(I don't mind letting you down easy  
But just give it time  
If it don't hurt now then just wait, just wait a while)_

You're not the big fish in the pond no more  
You are what they're feeding on

(So what are you gonna do when the world don't orbit around you?)  
So what are you gonna do when the world don't orbit around you?

_**Ain't it fun living in the real world**__  
__**Ain't it good being all alone**_

(Where you're from  
You might be the one who's running things  
Well you can ring anybody's bell to get what you want)

See it's easy to ignore trouble  
When you're living in a bubble

So what are you gonna do when the world don't orbit around you?  
(So what are you gonna do when nobody wants to fool with you?)

_**Ain't it fun living in the real world**__  
__**Ain't it good being all alone**_

(Ain't it good to be on your own  
Ain't it fun you can't count on no one)  
Ain't it good to be on your own  
Ain't it fun you can't count on no one

_**Ain't it fun living in the real world**__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**__  
__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**__  
__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**__  
__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**_

Ain't it fun  
Ain't it fun  
Baby, now you're one of us  
Ain't it fun  
Ain't it fun

Ain't it fun

(Ain't it fun living in the real world  
Ain't it good, ain't it good being all alone)

Ain't it fun living in the real world  
(Cause the world don't orbit around you)  
Ain't it good, ain't it good being all alone (oh)

Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world  
(Down to your mama)  
Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world  
(Don't go crying to your mama)  
Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world  
(Oh, this is the real world)  
Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world  
(Don't go crying to your mama)  
This is the real world  
This is the real world

_**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**__  
__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**__  
__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**__  
__**Don't go crying to your mama cause you're on your own in the real world**_

We finished and there was a loud round of applause from the class and we all high fived.

"Well done you guys, would you mind staying after class for a chat?" said Cinna clapping his own hands

"Ok," we all agreed

* * *

"Right, let's get down to business," said Cinna standing in front of us whilst we sat on some tables, the class was empty now

"So what's this all about?" asked Marvel, gobbing off as ever and Clove lightly slapped the back of your head

"Who wrote that song?" asked Cinna and everyone turned to look at me

"What you guys helped!" I said wanting to hide from attention

"It was from your journal!" said Peeta

"Can I see this journal?" asked Cinna I just shook my head sharply

"She won't show it to anyone!" said Clove

"I see... well Katniss the song you wrote reflects being alone but then releasing that the people that mock you can't dictate you for the rest of your life and when it comes to the real world they won't get anywhere... it's a very true song... what made you write it?"

"People that tease people I guess..." everyone looked at me

"Sod it Katniss, Trinket knows!" said Cato "She used to cut and when Gale shouted it in the corridor everyone thought that she was an attention whore and that's when we all became friends. Because we all think that it is ok to get a little lost sometimes,"

"Cato!" I yelled

"Don't worry Katniss, what is said in this room stays in this room, but I think that you have a real talent,"

"Thank you," I said in almost a whisper

"Sorry," whispered Cato in my ear, to be honest I think that Cato's little outburst was needed, I nodded slowly in reply.

"But that is not why you're still here!" said Cinna clapping his hands together "I want you to be the school band!"

"No!" we all said together, it was a mismatch of 'No-way's and 'the hell I won't's

"Please, you would be brilliant and it is a subtle way to put the right message across!" he argued

"And you think they got that? They just clapped!" I said

"Three of the people in here called Katniss all those names!" argued Clove

"Like they'd understand!" spat Peeta

"Please, one gig at the Halloween bash, it would be good to get a band in there instead of just a couple CDs being played!" he was practically begging. I looked at Cato then Clove then Marvel then Peeta.

"We'll do it," said Clove before I could open my mouth

"You are welcome to come here and practice any day! Now off to your lessons I've wasted enough of your time!" he shooed

"We've all got a free period," said Peeta, it was true.

* * *

We sat around the lunch table discussing what to do about the Halloween bash.

"So..." I said munching a carrot stick "What song are we gonna play? Cause I was thinking Sleeping with Sirens-"

"No!" said Peeta stopping me "An original song written by the lovely Katniss Everdeen!"

"I don't now if I can do cause it's a week away and we had a month for that project!" I moaned

"Come on Kat, we know that you have a lot more songs ready to be written in that pretty little journal of yours," said Clove looking straight at me

"It's not pretty," I say. Looking through the journal was hard enough the first time with flashbacks and the want to go get some sharp... but I could do again right. I was seriously beginning to doubt myself in this one...

* * *

"I hope you don't mind," said Cato walking in my room "Prim let me in,"

"She always does that," I smiled, I closed my algebras textbook after finishing the last equation

"I saw that you weren't too happy earlier about writing that song, so I thought I would come help..."

"Thanks," I said as he took an acoustic guitar off his back "It was hard, I really wanted to... do it,"

"I'm here to help," he said sitting down on my bed next to me.

Always here to help.

* * *

Cato helped me for hours and we shared a pizza and had a Coca-Cola each. He helped me kindly unlike Gale. Gale would be absolutely furious if I did this with him. Cato helped me write the melody and I helped fit the lyrics to the beat that he strummed his guitar, normally I would just set up a beat count on my laptop but it was good having the lead guitarist help me.

"Done!" I smiled showing him the sheet of paper

"It's brilliant and you said we couldn't get it done in one night!"

"It took six hours, it's ten o'clock!"

"Oh really? It's that late?" I nodded "It went real quick,"

"Thanks for your help,"

"Always thanking me!" he said packing his guitar away

"Shut up," I said pushing him lightly "But thank you helping me get through it tonight," there was the hard bits, he held me for half an hour when I cried

"I had fun," he said with a cute half smile "But I really have to go," I walked him to the front door

"See you tomorrow," I said standing in the doorway

"See you tomorrow," I closed the door and turned around to see Snow holding my journal open by one cover. Oh crap.

'Please don't look at it' I repeated over and over in my head

"What's this?" he asked sternly.

I gulped.

Hard.

Oh crap.

* * *

What did you think? Reviews please! Paramore song- Ain't it Fun, I only used this cause it was perfect for the instruments and the situation. So don't hate me for not making up some crappy song which would not sound good.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys thanks for like all the follows, I got a lot! Sorry I haven't updated for the past few days, I have been majorly busy! So anyways thanks for the reviews and all that, would love for you guys to say what you think would improve my storyline... anyways here's your chapter!

* * *

Chapter Eight

"What's this?" he repeated

I felt like I was going to shatter into a million pieces. Now I just hoped for my sanity that he hadn't looked at it or read anything.

"Err..."

"And what the hell is this red stuff?"

Damn it.

"Err..."

"Katniss, just answer me!" he bellowed

My mouth tried to form the words that seemed so right in my head but nothing came out, I was practically choking on air... and guilt.

"Katniss! Please tell me that the stuff you wrote in here is just a fairy story, please. Tell me that the red is just food colouring or paint or something!"

He read it. Fuck my life.

"I-I-" nothing would form, nothing would even sound right. My mind was yelling one hundred and one things all at the same time and I felt like I was about to exploded, leaving an endless trail of thoughts left behind me...

"Show me your arms," he said forcefully

I was shaking so much I could put a leaf to shame, I didn't dare to move, I wasn't even breathing. I didn't want him to find out. I just wanted those god damn scars to fade, because they would eventually and then I could pretend that none of it ever happened. But of course my life fucked up. After all I am the girl that tried to kill herself. Over and over.

Now I think 'I should have just slit my wrists, it would have been a whole lot easier'...

He took a step towards me.

"Katniss, you can trust me,"

"BULLSHIT!" the swear word was so loud you could probably hear it down the street, then I realised that it came from my own mouth "I don't even know you!" I said in more of a whisper, but he heard. He dropped the book and walked over to me quickly willing to embrace me but I pushed him away "Just don't- don't touch me," with that I ran upstairs and shut the door. I pulled the dresser in front of it to stop entry and closed the curtains then turned off the lights.

I buried myself in my duvet under my bed letting the darkness eat me alive.

"Come and get me," I whisper into the darkness, the silence answered me.

No one was coming.

No one would come.

I was alone.

And I shouldn't have been.

* * *

The next morning, I pulled myself out from under my bed and found that the dresser had been moved back and a post-it-note was stuck to the door.

**_You can tell me when you are ready._**

The only problem with that was that I would never be ready.

Not with him.

I barely knew him.

He was a stranger.

I changed and rebraided my hair whilst in some sort of trance. The trance he had put me in.

I picked up my song book and shoved it in my bag along with several school books. I grabbed my phone and attached my headphones. I played my music loud sending the message of 'Fuck off' to the world once again. Last time I did this was to avoid Cato. Right now I wanted to avoid the whole damn world.

All I could think was thank god that Prim had been sent off to some prestigious boarding school for doctors-to-be else I would probably have felt worse. But in a way I wanted my little Prim back, just to hug her would make anything sad seem like a hazy dream.

I quietly slid down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen grabbing a juicy red apple.

Red.

Blood.

I dropped the apple on the floor and the noise of a chair scraping the floor shook me from my stare.

"You ought to be more careful," he said picking up the apple and placing it on the counter. Next to it was my journal. My gateway to hell explored in one book and between me and that damn book was Snow. "Take it," he said noticing my stare, I must have looked like a rabbit in the headlights because he picked it up and slipped it into my bag without a second word "I have copies,"

"W-W-What are y-y-you going to do with... them?" I stuttered. All self confidence gone.

"I don't know..._ yet."_

I didn't know whether to be worried or grateful, so I simply turned and left the house without another word filling the air space between us.

* * *

I must have looked how I felt because soon enough the whole group of my friends had joined me as I stalked down the street in a vicious mood.

"Alright, what the fuck has got you down?" asked Marvel

"Another Oscar Winning Performance from Mr Too-Gay-To-Function-Like-A-Human," I muttered, I could practically feel the radiating anger from him

"Kat?" asked Clove weary of any sudden movement

"Just leave me alone." I spat before picking up my pace and leaving them behind.

I couldn't go into school like this. I would get a detention anyway so I made my way to the woods, to just let everything slip away. Like nothing had ever happened, like nothing ever would happen.

* * *

Soon I was aware of a presence behind me.

"Yes?" I half growled half shouted, the presence moved and sat down next to me. Peeta.

"Cato said that we should leave you alone-"

"You should," I hissed not daring to look at him

"Why such a raging bitch today, is it the time of the-"

"Stop before you embarrass yourself," I said abruptly, my period had nothing to do with it!

"So what is it?" he asked, I could hear the concern in his voice and I could feel his sea blue eyes boring into my face

"Snow found my book." I say with somewhat of a flick on my toungue

"The song book? That isn't so bad-"

"The journal,"

"Oh crap." he said

"My sentiments exactly,"

"What happened?"

"I got it back-"

"That's good!" he said with an unsure smile

"But unfortunately for me he has copies..."

"What's he gonna do with them?"

"He doesn't know _yet_, they were his exact words..._ yet_... he's going to do something,"

"Right now you don't have to worry about that,"

"Of course I do! He sent my mother to a fancy rehab centre!"

"Oh,"

"Which means that there will be no Prim and definitely no you guys and definitely no more music,"

"What if he doesn't do anything?"

"Oh, he'll do something, this is Snow for Christ's sake!"

"I thought you stopped,"

"I have, nearly a month and a half now,"

"Everything will be ok,"

"But you don't know that!"

"I know that you, Katniss Everdeen, are strong and you can get through anything, after all without you we wouldn't be doing the Halloween bash,"

"That was Clove,"

"Without you we would be listening to some lame band who are only here for the girls and the spiked punch,"

"That's true," I said with a small smile "But I don't know if I can do it-"

"_I _know that you can do it," he said with a smile that can only be described as sincere, he edged closer and put his arm around my shoulder. I didn't stop him.

"You have a way with words Mellark," I said resting my head on his shoulder

"So I've been told."

* * *

Peeta and I walked to the table hand in hand, my heart was racing, they probably all think that I'm some psychotic bitch and that they don't want to be friends with me. Peeta and I had sat out in the woods together until lunch not saying a single word to each other, just silence but it was comfortable and I didn't have to pretend with him.

We said down at the table, next to each other and his hand still gripped mine under the table. Clove looked up from her food and gave me a concerned smirk and Cato just watched me.

"I'm sorry," I choked out

"It's ok," said Marvel

"I suppose I should tell you why I was being such a bitch this morning," I said and they all agreed except Cato, he stayed quiet

"Snow found my journal, not the song book, I have it with me now but he has copies and he doesn't know what he's going to do with them... yet,"

"Oh my god," whispered Marvel, Cato looked absolutely furious and Clove looked shocked

"Are you going to be ok?" asked Clove I nodded in reply, after all there wasn't that much more to say

"The other night Cato and I came up with a song," I said changing the subject, Peeta's hand clenched at the mention of Cato "It's called Fences," I let go of Peeta's hand and pulled my song book out of my bag then placed the new lyrics down on the table

"These are good you guys," said Marvel

"Cato helped me set up a melody and we got into a bit of detail about what should be happening on drums and bass," Cato nodded his approval

"We are going to rock Halloween bash!" smiled Clove hitting the air victoriously.

The only problem was whether I would be joining them.

* * *

What was left was a waiting game, like the cat waiting to pounce on his prey. I fell lost and betrayed. I shouldn't have left it on my bed, it shouldn't have got Cato to help me. I shouldn't have used it in the first place. I should have just killed myself when I had the chance.

Our little after school band practice was over and we were ready for the Halloween bash the next night. I returned home and was starting to make my way up the stairs without Snow catching me.

"Katniss?"

Damn. Too slow

"Yes?" I asked walking back down the stairs

"Where were you?"

"It was practicing with my friends for Halloween bash tomorrow night, we're performing,"

"No, you're not. You're not going to Halloween bash,"

"What! No! You can't do that!" I screeched

"You're not stable enough!" he shouted back

"A month and a half,"

"What are you-"

"A month and a half since I last cut, one month and a half since Cato got me to throw away that damn blade, one month and a half since I turned to music, one month and a half since I have been beginning to stay sane, it's been going on around your precious school for more than two months, go ask any of your stupid students about that bust up between Gale and Katniss. They will tell you everything that happened, under your own roof." with that I walked up stairs, drew the curtains turned off the light and crawled under my bed with my duvet.

I felt safe.

For now.

* * *

Ooh! Major effects here! What will Snow do? What did you think? Review NOW!


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews and shit, hope you like this next chapter kinda an emotional one for Katniss.

-Court x

* * *

Chapter Nine

The next morning was a blur. Somehow I had crawled out from the bed, showered, changed and was sat eating breakfast at the dining table with good ole' granddaddy watching me.

"Alright," he said. I stopped shovelling cereal in my mouth and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow not understanding what he was going on about "You are allowed to go tonight but you shall not be returning to school until I see improvement, your little charades of running up to your room and hiding under that bed proves that you are unstable,"

"What's going to happen to me?" I ask was a surge of confidence

"You are going to a facility to straighten you out, you shall be leaving tomorrow morning,"

"You are giving me no time to say good bye to my friends?" I screeched, obviously shocked

"That is the thing, you can't tell them where you are going,"

"So I could be gone for months and they won't understand where I am? Or why I left?"

"That's right,"

"Why?" I say almost pleading

"Because you need to start afresh."

Bastard.

* * *

My last day. Probably. And definitely for a long time. At that place all they can do is dose me up on happy pills until I'm flying as high as a cloud.

"Katniss?" said Peeta snapping his fingers in front of my face

"Sorry, what?"

"You were out of it again," answered Clove

"Sorry," I said apologising again

"Something up?"

"Nope!" I say a little too quickly and she gives me a suspicious look but I send her a 'leave it' glare back.

"So we were saying that we are so excited about tonight," jigged Marvel

"Finnick's going to be there," said Clove and I smiled "But unfortunately so is Gale, I saw him buy two tickets earlier," my smile broke, the second ticket would be for Glitter

"Him and his slut can get stuffed," I say and Peeta smiles and puts one arm around my shoulder, I can see Cato's muscles tense.

"So what are we going to wear?" asked Marvel

"Are you sure you are not gay?" I ask and he laughs

"No I am not gay, I am just slightly happier than people at times ok?" I wave my hands in front of me signalling a retreat

"We don't have to match, if that's what you mean," said Clove

"I look forward to seeing you a dress Kat," said Marvel with a smirk

"Oh no! Not wearing a dress," I say moving my hands in a pushing motion

"But Kitty and there's-"

"No dresses and definitely no make up!" I protest

"You don't need make up anyway," whispered Peeta and I roll my eyes

"I will make you a deal," said Marvel turning to face me, I take in a deep breath bracing myself for what is going to follow "You either were a dress or wear make up,"

"But-"

"No buts! One or the other!" he says ignoring my protests of against human rights

"Fine." I say annoyed "I'll wear the stupid make up,"

"Yay!" says Clove clapping her hands together, she can be such a girl sometimes

"Anything else Princess?" asks Cato jokingly

"Yah, two," I say "One, you don't call me princess ever again and two, everyone has to wear short sleeve shirts,"

"Are you sure?" asked Clove, I nod still looking at Cato

"Fine. I'm in," he says

* * *

I stand in front of Clove wearing a pair of white high waisted shorts with grey vertical stripes, along with a 'whore' crop top that is red with white writing, like the nerd one but specially made to say whore that I had ordered a couple days ago. My nails are painted black and my hair is in it's usual messy chunky braid and I had black liquid eyeliner on my eye lids with flicks at the end of my eye, to apparently make my eyes pop.

I am also wearing bright red lipstick that apparently glows in the dark, I am also wearing a little mascara and foundation but nothing on my arms. They are out for show.

Suddenly the doorbell rings just as I am tying up my black converse and both Clove and I rush downstairs to the door.

"Wow," said Peeta

"Make up does make people look better," said Marvel and Clove slaps him "OW!" he protests. I jump out the house with my fringed bag and close the door behind me. Cato standing behind them all wearing a hoodie.

"He broke the t-shirt rule," said Peeta "While the rest of us are freezing..." it was October after all...

"Leave him alone, Peeta," I say I little more harshly than intended and as the other skip along forward I hide back with Cato "You ok?" I ask

"Nervous," he says

"I'm not talk about the band,"

"I don't want to take the hoodie off, I came here to forget about the names,"

"Hello, I'm freezing here, I'm wearing shorts at Clove's request!" he chuckles slightly at my remark and I push him lightly "You know, you can break the rule if you want," I say suddenly serious

"No, because then I would be a hypocrite,"

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask again

"No," he says honestly

"We'll do this together," I say confidently

* * *

We stand off stage as Cinna introduces us.

"We have a band here today!" he announces and the crowd cheers, it's obvious that the punch has already been spiked and the girl drinking her second cup is already swaying uncontrollably. _Lightweight. _"Please welcome to the stage your very own home grown band- Lost!" there's a cheer, after all they don't know who we are yet.

Slowly we step on stage and I give Cato a squeeze of our hands for encouragement and he throws off his hoodie revealing a white t-shirt and black waistcoats, pretty smart if it wasn't for the jeans. As soon as they see us, the cheers abruptly stop and Clove and I stand about two meters apart.

"Hi, we're Lost," I say

"And this song was written by our very own Katniss Everdeen and Cato Ludwig!" the crowd still silent. I can see Gale intently watching with a smirk on his face

"This song is about not giving a damn what others think of you," I say suddenly full of confidence. And we begin to pick up sound and the song starts.

**Both **(Clove) Katniss

I'm sitting in a room,  
Made up of only big white walls and in the hall  
There are people looking through  
The window in the door they know exactly what we're here for.

(Don't look up Just let them think  
There's no place else You'd rather be.)

You're always on display  
For everyone to watch and learn from,  
**Don't you know by now,**  
**You can't turn back**  
**Because this road is all you'll ever have.**

(And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.  
Just living proof that the camera's lying.)  
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.  
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style.  
You'll go out in style.

If you let me I could,  
I'd show you how to build your fences,  
Set restrictions, separate from the world.  
(The constant battle that you hate to fight,  
Just blame the limelight.)

**Don't look up Just let them think **  
**There's no place else You'd rather be.**

And now you can't turn back  
Because this road is all you'll ever have.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.  
Just living proof that the camera's lying.  
(And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.  
So smile.)

Yeah, yeah you're asking for it  
With every breath that you breathe in  
Just breathe it in.  
(Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess  
You do all this big talking  
So now let's see you walk it.  
I said let's see you walk it.)

Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess  
You do all this big talking  
**So now let's see you walk it. **  
**I said let's see you walk it.**

(And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.)  
Just living proof that the camera's lying.  
(And oh oh open wide, yeah oh oh open wide.)  
Yeah, oh oh open wide,  
**'Cause you'll go out in style. **  
**You'll go out in style.**

For a moment the crowd seems stunned and Gale runs out the gym slamming the door behind him. Then the crowd erupts into applause and they are whispering to each other, and for once everyone can see my scars and I'm not afraid what they think.

A little too late huh?

* * *

After the concert I am congratulated a lot my wearing a short sleeve shirt, Cato too. His scars are much like mine but I might beat him by how many there are for twenty minutes we sat counting until we officially gave up with numbers. We some of the night we danced and hung out, had a little of the overly spiked punch, you could smell the alcohol before you could taster it.

I say I have to use the bathroom and head off down the corridor alone whilst they are still dancing and having fun. I will miss my friends. I head down the corridor to slip a letter in Clove's locker, to explain everything when I am stopped when I find Gale sat on a bench drinking the 'punch'.

"Not bothered about the scars I see," he says

"I am," I say truthfully "Cato was too but if anything we have been getting a lot of attention from it, boys say I'm courageous," his face screwed up, he was on the verge of drunk and he patted the space next to him. I hesitantly sat.

"You were very brave,"

"Thank you,"

"But why did it seem like a good bye?" he saw right through me in the way my friends did not

"Because it is," I answer truthfully

"Where are you leaving to?"

"I'm not allowed to say,"

"So what are you doing now?" he asks

"Trying to slip away without them noticing. I'm 'at the bathroom'"

"Well you don't have long before they start wondering where you are,"

"I've already thought about that, I'm sending Clove a 'went home because I'm not feeling good, stay out to avoid infection' text,"

"Clever," he says bringing the punch to his lips but I swipe it from him before he can even taste anymore alcohol

"Don't get drunk Gale, Glimmer's looking for you,"

"Thanks for the heads up," he said standing up and heading to the exit door "Will I see you again?" he asks

"I don't know," I answer honestly then he leaves.

I down the punch like a shot an throw the empty cup in the bin before walking down the corridor slipping my letter into Clove's locker. Then I send the text regretfully and head off 'home'.

Home. Huh? It doesn't feel like it at all, it is just a house were my so called family is just another word for a stranger even Prim has become one now she has moved off to boarding school.

**Get well soon xx ;)  
-Clove**

**Feel better Princess ;)  
-Cato**

**C ya soon )  
-Marvie! xx**

**Won't have any fun without you! :( Get better soon? If you need a doctor you know where I am xox  
-Peeta**

I lay my phone down on the bedside cabinet and crawl under the bed with my duvet, leaving the door wide open along with the curtains and the window.

"Good night," I whisper into the silence.

More like good bye.

* * *

What did you think? The next couple chapters will be a trip into Katniss' mad self! So hope you enjoyed this chapter! What did you honestly think?  
-Court x


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys, some real physiological shit here.

* * *

Chapter Ten

Three days of nothing. Just big white walls, a locked door, bare feet, no sleep and jam sandwiches. I haven't ate them. They must think it is my stubbornness. I take to the drawing pad that was left for me with a large selection of sharpies. I pick up the purple one and draw on the bread.

**I do not like jam.**

Then I throw the sandwich at the wall so it sticks and snap the purple sharpie in half and throw that across the room too. I feel light headed so I continue colouring into the blank pages of the drawing pad. I don't draw anything, because that's what they want. I just colour the pages in with the black sharpie. They changed the sharpies everyday so that they don't run out. I can feel the CCTV watching me.

There is nothing to do.

I don't sleep, the nightmares are worse here, even worse than at home. I don't eat anything because I don't like jam but I'm sure I wouldn't eat anything anyway. I don't shower because that would make them happy. I don't interact with the counsellor because they think that I'm crazy anyway no need to give them any more proof. I don't move from my spot of the floor by the drawing pad and the sharpies because that wastes the energy I don't have. All I do is breath and nothing else.

A woman with grey hair found drugged me with sleeping gas and took me to the showers, I must have stank. Soon I was returned to my room with a cheese sandwich awaiting me however there was a post it note attached to the paper plate.

**Then we will give you bread and butter alone, Miss Everdeen.**

Then I notice that the wall had been cleaned, I simply through the food in the bin and sit down to colour in another page of the drawing pad.

* * *

The bin has been emptied and now they just leave bottles of water. I pick up the dark blue sharpie and write on the bottle.

**Not wanting to waste resources I see.**

I take off the cap and throw the two bottles of water across the room spilling it everywhere.

I sat down by the drawing pad and filled in another page with black sharpie.

* * *

The next day I feel faint all day but I survive, I don't move for most of the day I just continue to colour in that drawing pad with black sharpie. But it's not just colouring anymore, it's drawing upon drawing, words upon words. Drawing of Cato, Peeta, Marvel, Clove, Prim and even Gale. The words of my hatred, my regret, my sadness and the parts that I didn't want to relive but I did.

I faint.

When I wake up I am still on the floor, I decide that it was down to lack of sleep and when I move from the ground I fall back down again.

There is a bottle of pills by the door and I throw it against the wall sending glass shards everywhere. I don't care. I just go back to colouring in the drawing pad, feeling sick for every second of it.

* * *

I pick up the red sharpie and write on the walls everywhere in yellow sharpie.

**I need to die. I need to die. I need to die.**

This time no one comes to wash it off and I don't want them to.

* * *

The next day there is a bucket of soapy water and a sponge left by the door with a post it note.

**Clean your mess.**

Take my punishment and with every light headed step I take the stronger I feel. I clean the god damn walls not for them for me. But I didn't know why. I just wanted to clean the walls.

* * *

The next day I am forced to be showered and I don't have the energy to even braid my hair. I just slump against the door, looking straight out the barred window trying to remember what life outside my cell was like. But I can't remember.

I wrack my brain through night and day but still I don't remember.

"I GIVE UP!" I shout but no one hears me only the silence replies.

* * *

I don't move the next day. I just sit slumped against the door. Every few hours someone peers through the door but I don't budge, the CCTV camera watches me silently as I continue to stare out the barred window. _I'm going to die here._

The darkness takes over and still I don't move, I don't know how but somewhere I feel like I have gained energy.

But still I do not sleep.

* * *

The next day they do not bother me, no food, no water, no post it notes.

I have filled in the book, it is now full of black pages.

I stand up holding the red sharpie, I feel light headed from the lack of food these past six days. If I'm dying this is a good way to go. My stomach growls and I sit on the bed by the wall. Writing on the wall in large red letters going over the faded yellow.

**I'm not crazy. I don't want your pity. I need freedom not barred windows and blank walls. I need fresh air. I need noise. I need human interaction. I want to die, but wanting something never gets anything and needing it does but I do not need do die. I am not crazy, I am human and I give up.**

With that I faint.

* * *

I awake in a brighter room painted baby blue, the beeping off the machine fills my mind. I feel content, the noise is wonderful. There tube leading to my nose, there is something inside it, I have seen it before. They are feeding me. There are sharp corners and things that could hurt me unlike the white room, my cell. There is a window, wide open and I can smell the fresh air. I am alive.

"Miss Everdeen, Seneca Crane is here to see you," says an old woman in white clothing, she leaves and a man strides in he is wearing a red button up shirt with a black vest over the top. He has jet black hair and a very usually shaved beard.

"Ah, Miss Everdeen," he says but I cannot speak "I particularly enjoyed page one hundred and eight- _Life is queen of the bitches and Mondays are the heir to the throne," _he chuckles and it takes me a moment to process that he was quoting my journal "You are perfectly correct, and perfectly sane, it was the room that made you so crazed. Snow was wrong and you will be free to go," he places the journal down on the bed

"B-b-back to _him?"_ I stutter

"No we are placing you in the care of your English teacher Miss Effie Trinket, your sister will resume boarding school and Snow will be told to stay away from you even though he is your principle,"

"H-h-how long?"

"You have been in a medically induced coma for three weeks, you have been at the centre for a week before that leaving you a total of a month and you have missed precisely fifteen days of school. Your friends have been somewhat worried,"

"W-w-won't you b-be in tr-tr-trouble?"

"Almost definitely."

"W-what ab-about the b-book?"

"You can keep it, I would publish it if I were you... it is very inspiring for people like you,"

"N-no th-th-thanks,"

"Once the cycle of food is ingested you are free to go, as long as you resume to eating healthily or whatever you teenagers do,"

"T-th-thank you,"

"No, thank you," then he left.

* * *

"Right dear, you room is upstairs and on the left, I don't use the large shed around the back so I took the liberty of putting instruments in their for the band," I nod "Prim sends her best and you can return to school tomorrow," then she hands me my iPhone and I walk up stairs to my new room. It is forest green with trees, Cato and Peeta must have told them about how much I loved the woods. The bed is a double and had dark green sheets, the windows have dark green curtains and the carpet reminds me of the forest floor.

I flick through my phone and find that I have over six hundred missed called and over seven hundred texts. It's so much that my memory is full. The texts go from hope your feeling betters to im worried about you. I delete them all immediately and all the missed calls, then I listen to a few of my messages.

"It's Peeta, we're all worried about you! Call us back!"

"Clovey Wovey at your service, where the heck were you? Prim said she hasn't seen you!"

"Marvel here, Clove found that note in her locker today, she's very upset, call us!"

"It's Cato, we all miss you Katniss! Where are you?"

"It's Clove, where the fuck are you Katniss?" she was in tears on that one. I couldn't listen to anymore so I deleted them all.

I remember the note.

_Dear Clove,_

_I don't know where I'm going or what's going to happen to me but I love you guys like so much and I want to thank you for everything you've ever done. I don't know if I'll ever see you again and it's killing me to write this, so I guess this is good bye Clove._

_Katniss Everdeen, the one and only raging bad ass bitch with an attitude to kill._

_P.S don't have too much fun without me ;)_

That's me, making everything a joke. I wanted them to move on, but how could they when I couldn't?

I fall back onto the bed and think what tomorrow will bring. Will they hate me? Will they have forgotten me? Will they ignore me?

I would just have to wait for what tomorrow would bring and tomorrow being a Monday would hurt like princess of the bitches.

* * *

What did you think? Reviews please!


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for all the support you guys and hey look at me! Four chapters today! PM me any questions you have and I will answer them as best i can! x

* * *

Chapter Eleven

I lie on the bed. Awake when Effie comes to wake me.

"How long have you been awake?" she asks kindly

"Not long," I lie, I had been tossing and turning all night scared about today

"I know you're worried dear, they will be glad you're back,"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead, dear," she squeaks

"Why would you want to look after me?"

"I knew from that moment you stabbed that poor mahogany desk with your penknife that you were like a younger version of me,"

"You? I'm not being rude but you're all hyper and loud, how can you be like me?"

"I was abused when I was younger, so I put up my walls like you and became that bitch that everyone hated," she paused "I was only and eventually I met someone who made me realise that being a bitch wasn't the way out, just because I was different didn't mean that it gave people the right to make fun of me. I didn't need to be a bitch to feel happy, I just worked out who my true friends were much like yours. I was in the hallway that day when you fought with Gale and I was in the canteen when everyone moved away from you and Clove,"

"Oh," was all I managed to say

"Get showered and changed, breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes," she said back to her bubbly self, she bounced over to the door before turning back and saying "Some things are definitely much more complicated than first thought," with that she quietly shut the door behind her. Effie Trinket wasn't messed up or stupid she was happy being different.

* * *

I showered and got changed into a large dark denim shirt over the top of a white vest shirt and some black leggings along with my usual converse and signature braid. I hopped downstairs to find Effie in the kitchen stacking up a pile of American pancakes with loads of maple syrup. Hell I could get used to this.

I sat down at the island counter and she put the plate down for me.

"Snow never did any of this, not even for Prim. He was never really there,"

"I will never replace your mother-"

"I didn't like her that much anyway and with these pancakes she will be forgotten about in two days tops," I smirk and she chuckles lightly

"Come on, I'm giving you a ride to school,"

* * *

She led me through to the garage to her light pink beetle, somehow I think this woman likes anything pink, and she drove me to school as well as her job destination, after all she was an English teacher by trade.

I was fiddling with my fingers and the end of my braid. As soon as we entered the school gates everyone saw the pink car then they saw me, looks of horror, empathy and sympathy were dotted around the quad. Effie parked her car and we sat in the car so a minute.

"Right, today is a big, big day! And I know that the beautiful Katniss Everdeen can go kick some butt and have a wonderful day," she smiled

"Thanks Effie,"

"It's Miss Trinket when we get to school, remember,"

"Yes, Ef-I mean Miss Trinket," I got out the car and Effie muttered something of a good bye. I was the centre of attention. But I ignored the looks and went inside to my locker.

"Katniss? Is that you?" I turned around and saw Clove. She practically pushed me over with her hug "I thought that was a fucking suicide note!" she cried

"Really? You think that I would try to kill myself!"

"That's what it sounded like! Where did you go?"

"Some place called The Capitol, some mental facility Seneca Crane sorted things out, told me I wasn't crazy. Said I should publish my journal and I guess I'm living with Trinket,"

"As in Effie Trinket? The English teacher?" I nodded "Bloody hell," I laughed at her and we walked to our next class- Math. The only one without Cato, Peeta or Marvel.

* * *

It was break and Clove arranged to meet everyone else on the quad, they didn't know that I was back yet.

"Hey Clove, some idiots in our History class keep talking about Katniss why-" Marvel was abruptly stopped when he saw me and all threw themselves on me "What the fuck happened to you?"

This would take some explaining.

* * *

After explaining to everyone what had happened to me they were shocked and I was pretty sure that people heard from neighbouring tables. Just before the bell we went off to our lessons. I was with Peeta for biology and the teacher, Chaff I think, never did any work so we just chatting.

"I'm glad you're back," he said with a smile

"Me too," I smiled back

"You know we rocked Halloween bash,"

"Yeah, you have quite the talent for drumming Mellark,"

"So I've been told," I just laughed at his and messed up his hair "I really am glad your back,"

"So what happened whilst i was _away_?"

"Clove had a break down, Marvel cried, Cato stopped talking to me for a week and I may or may not have punched Gale,"

"He's not so bad you know,"

"Katniss, he made out that you tried to kill yourself!"

"It was all in the heat of the moment," i say

"Stop defending him!"

"He's not _that_ bad anyway,"

"Whatever," he muttered doodling something in his notebook.

* * *

It was lunch and we were sat at our table, Peeta was obviously still pissed and sat the furthest away from me.

"Peeta stop being a bitch and join the conversation," said Marvel slapping his shoulder playfully, i kicked Marvel under the table "Ow!"

"Look Peeta I'm sorry," i said "Gale just said something to me before I left the dance ok? It was something resembling an apology,"

"I forgive you," he said and he brightened up a bit after that and we continued our conversations

* * *

"Free period?" asked Cato sitting down next to me in the woods

"Yup," i said popping the p

"I feel like I've barely said a word to you all day!"

"That's because you haven't," i said and he pushed me playfully "I missed our talks," i say honestly

"Me too," he says "I think Peeta missed you a little more than he should have,"

"What do you mean?" i ask oblivious

"He so likes you!"

"Of course he does, he's my friend,"

"Not like that stupid," he sat slapping me lightly on the back of my head, why do I feel like I'm becoming Marvel all of a sudden? "He _likes_ you,"

"Oh god," i said curled up my knees and burying my face in them "Why can't everything be simple? I just want us all to be friends and stay friends you know?"

"Yeah," he smirked "You cold?"

"No,"

"Liar," he said taking his jacket off and placing it around my shoulders, i put my arms into it

"You know the last time you did this, i threw the sharpener blade into the lake,"

"Yep,"

"That was a good day,"

"A very good day," he corrects and I lay down, he follows "How long has it been?"

"Nearly three and a half months i think,"

"Congrats,"

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we were normal people?"

"Oh Katniss, you could never be normal," he laughed bending his arm and beckoned for me to use it as a cushion "I don't think that normal is a good thing sometimes,"

"But normal would be great, no scars and no drama,"

"Why are you so worried about the scars?"

"They're ugly,"

"They're not ugly,"

"Then I am!" i protest

"Katniss, you're beautiful!"

"Says Mr Tall Blonde and Muscled!" we both laugh "What do you think life would be like if we never cut ourselves?"

"For starters i never would have met you and you wouldn't be friends with Marvel and Peeta,"

"Yeah but wouldn't it be carefree and let annoying?"

"Sometimes yeah, but we can't turn back time,"

"If you could turn back time how far back would you go?"

"Look at little miss curiosity!"

"Shut up and answer the damn question!" i say slapping his side

"I don't think I would," he paused "I wont change my life at all, i like it the way it is now,"

"I would do it so I never slept with Gale,"

"Ugh TMI!" he protests then he pauses "You slept with Gale?"

"Twice, it wasn't how they said it would be, people say it is full of love and passion, but when Gale and I... did it, there was none of that,"

"Or was he just generally bad?" he laughed

"I wouldn't know!" i said slapping his side again "He was my first," i say a little more quietly

"Wow, i wouldn't think that,"

"So what did you think I was?"

"I don't know, just a bit more _experienced..._"

"Ok, ew, can we stop talking about this? Don't you think this is weird that we're talking about this?"

"Yes and no,"

"No?"

"It means you trust me,"

"I guess I do."

* * *

We had another movie night, in my new room.

"Ok, let's do a question round," said Marvel turning to face me. I was sat on the bed next to Cato, Peeta was next to Marvel and Clove sat on the floor closest to the TV

"Again?" we all moaned

"Last time was celebrities we would love to fuck! Surely it can't get any worse!" moaned Clove

"Who was your first time?" he said confidently

"Oh god no," i said looking at Cato who laughed and I shoved him lightly

"Max Cartwell," said Clove shamefully

"Oh my god I remember him!" i shout "You didn't even date! It was a seven minutes in heaven thing at Finnick's party like last year!"

"Shut up!" she said throwing a pillow at me

"Lucy Smith," said Marvel wiggling his eyebrows "She was sexy,"

"And we all thought you were gay," laughed Clove

"Gale," i say shamefully "I don't not want to go into details!"

"Now you have to!" shouted Marvel

"No!" i protested

"Come on!" said Clove "You told them about Max!"

"Fine..." i say "The first time was at his house, it wasn't romantic at all, he literally said 'Let's fuck!'"

"Oh god!" said Cato

"The prick!" shouted Clove

"Wait! _The first time_?" said Marvel

"Yes there was a second time, it was practically the same," i say trying to edge the conversation on

"Peeta's been very quiet," says Clove understanding my embarrassment, it was true, Peeta had sat there silently listening to our conversation

"Oh my god, you're a virgin!" squealed Marvel and Peeta went bright red

"Aww!" shouted Clove

"Shut up!" said Peeta hitting them both with a pillow.

Let the pillow fight commence.

* * *

What did you think? Ideas for next chapter? REVIEWS PLEASE!  
-Court x


	12. Chapter 12

So here's the next chapter, there will be a bit of drama in this one, after all the last chapter was basically fluffiness apart from Peeta's bitchy side ;)

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Effie dropped me off the next day and I met my friends at my locker.

"So what's up?" I asked

"Not much," said Marvel "Peeta's still a virgin-"

"Hey!" said Peeta "It's a choice,"

"Yeah but not yours," said Marvel

"Anyways Peet, if you want to get laid you can always asked Glitter," i smirk

"Oh you can shut up! he said shoving me playfully "Anyway, I don't want to get 'laid' i want to make love to a girl!"

"Oh god! He's thinking about the movies!" said Clove "Look Peeta, hate to be the barer of bad news but you don't make love, ever,"

"'He's right," agreed Cato

"I have an idea," i say "Finnick is holding a Christmas party, meaning that there will be a lot of girls getting drunk meaning..."

"That he can get laid easily!" finished Marvel "Bring your condoms Peet, next Saturday you are getting laid."

* * *

Peeta and I sit in our usual seats in biology talking, the teacher isn't teaching again.

"You know you don't actually have to..."

"I know... maybe i want to," he said wigging his eyebrows

"Oh god! Shut up before i stab you with your own pen!" i threaten and we both laugh "You know, just wear a tight fitting shirt and you'll have girls all over you with those abs," i said poking him the stomach

"Is that a pick up line, Everdeen?" he says wiggling his eyebrows

"In your dreams, Mellark!" i say shoving him lightly. I don't think I could ever think of Peeta in that way... or could I?

* * *

"Hey gorgeous," i close my locker to find Gale

"What do you want?"

"Nice to see you too!"

"Just answer the damn question!"

"I was going to ask if you're going to Finnick's party?"

"Yeah so?"

"Be my date,"

"Let me think about that... no!"

"Come on Catnip, it will be just like old times,"

"Well i want to forget about 'old times',"

"What even the sex? You gotta admit that was pretty good!"

"No it wasn't you used me! Twice! And when I told you i didn't want to have sex for a while you went off to Glitter,"

"Her name's Glimmer and babe! It was magical-"

"Whatever you think was magical must be the biggest load of crap i ever heard," i turned to find Peeta "Do you want me to re-brake that nose?" Gale shook his head "Then I suggest you leave," Gale followed orders and started to walk off

"Text you later babe," he winked

"Blocking your number!" i called back, i turned to face Peeta "Ok, maybe I shouldn't have defended him, he was being a dick,"

"What was that all about anyway?"

"Finnick's party and apparently that our sex was magical,"

"Not something i want to talk about," said Peeta holding his hand out to silence me

"You can talk virgin boy!" Peeta rolled his eyes in response.

* * *

After my run in with Gale I was glad that Peeta was a virgin because that made him a lot more innocent and sweet, probably more understanding as well.

Soon it was the Saturday of Finnick's early Christmas party.

Clove came over and we got changed. I wore some black high waisted shorts, a t shirt with the word 'Oh.' on it, a denim waistcoat with the American flag on it in place and my converse, as well as my signature braid. She was wearing a red playsuit with blue flower patterned on it with a black leather jacket, i think the brand of the jacket was pussycat London or something...

"Wait!" said Clove attacking me with something bright pink "Relax Kat, it's just lipstick,"

"It's bright pink!" i screech

"It looks sexy!"

"Why do I need to look sexy?"

"Because you could bag a boy,"

"No thanks," i say walking out the room and down stairs, Clove follows intently

"Oh don't you look wonderful!" clapped Effie taking pictures of us "I will print off the good ones for you, maybe you could make a collage or something for your senior year memories!"

"Yeah, sure," i say optimistically

* * *

"Katniss! Clove!" smiled Finnick hugging us. We walked at, at least he wasn't drunk already. We immediately found Cato and Marvel.

"So where is he?" asked Clove

"Who?" asked Marvel

"Virgin Boy. The Prodigal Boy," i answer and Cato chuckles

"Went to get you guys drinks, said he said Finnick answer the door,"

"So has he bagged any lucky ladies yet?" asked Clove

"Nope, we're waiting until Finnick kicks up the celebration," said Marvel, but both Clove and I gave him a confused look

"Get em' when they're shit faced," explained Cato

"Ah," we said in unison

"Drinks, ladies!" said Peeta handing both Clove and I a bottle of something "You ok?" he whispered

"I'm fine, I'm good actually haven't seen Gale yet," i whispered back

"Let' just say, Glitter didn't make it,"

"So the jealousy plan fails," i say and he nods and we get back into the others conversation about getting Peeta a partner for his little escapade.

* * *

"Found one yet?" i ask dancing next to Peeta, the girls had got drunk and a lot of other boys were definitely going to get laid tonight, but Peeta still looked alone

"Nope,"

"Enjoy being alone buddy," i say beginning to walk away but at the exact same time some boy comes round the corner and pukes all over Peeta

"Katniss, show Peeta to my room and get him a shirt," said Finnick before he walked over to some girls in very short skirts

"Come on," i say grabbing his clean hand and pulling him upstairs, once we get to Finnick's room. Peeta sits awkwardly on the bed "Ah ha!" i say flipping a shirt out of one of Finnick's draws "Here," i say passing it to him "Go take a quick shower and change into this," i say beckoning to the ensuite

"What if someone walks in on me?" he asks sheepishly

"I'll wait here, so no one can walk into on you,"

"Thanks he said shuffling off into the bathroom."

* * *

Finally Peeta emerges from the bathroom after what seems like a century, with water droplets glistening in his hair.

"Nice fit?" i ask

"Yep," he said popping the p and sitting down on the bed next to me still doing up a couple buttons on his shirt "Sorry if you missed some of the party,"

"It's fine, anyways you better get out there if you-"

"I don't want to get with a girl i barely know, in fact the only girls i have talked to tonight are you and Clove,"

"Aww, you're too cute!" i say ruffling his wet hair

"Anyways I've had an awesome night with you guys,"

"Glad to here it,"

"I always have fun with you," then I notice that he has missed a button hole

"You missed one," i say pointing to a button

"Im bad at buttoning up,"

"You're telling me," i said unbuttoning one so that i can button up the one below it, i didn't realise that Peeta was staring at me until i was doing the last two buttons

"You know Katniss, there's more to me than you think-"

"There's more to everybody than you think," i say still focusing on that last damn button which wouldn't go in it's correct whole "Anyway what are you trying to get at?"

"Well it kinda involves you..." i stop trying to fit that stupid button through the hole and looked up at him with my hands still lingering on that last damn button

"How does it involve me?" i ask suddenly self conscious

"Well err..."

"Spit it out," i say getting a bit impatient "Sorry, total impatient bitch! Just continue... if you want to- I mean-"

"I'll just show you instead, ok?"

"Ok, but if this is anything dirty I will-" i was interrupted by his lips crashing onto mine and for some reason I don't push him off.

* * *

What did you think? You will have to wait till tomorrow to find out what happens next!


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys thanks for all the reviews, PMs and follows, if you have an questions please PM me! I answer them all when I can! Anyways here's your chapter...

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

"I'll show you instead, ok?"

"Ok, but if this is anything dirty i will-" i was interrupted by Peeta crashing his lips onto mine and for some reason I didn't push him off but I didn't kiss back. Stuck on the verge of crazed. I pulled back

"I have wanted to do that a long time," he admits, i don't know what to say so i sit there on the bed dumbstruck "I really like you Katniss,"

"I-I-," i say fiddling with the fray piece of thread coming off the bed, he lifts my face up with his hand gently

"You don't have to say anything back, I just want you to know that you are beautiful," he says putting a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Hey Katniss, Finnick wants to know if-" it was Marvel oh crap, we jump further apart "Holy fuck Peet! You're getting laid tonight," that means he can't see me. Now I beg silently that Peeta doesn't turn his head or get up.

"Fuck off Marvel," he says very calmly turning his head to look at Marvel

"Holy crap! Katniss?" damn it, damn you Peeta

"Um. Hi Marvel."

"I didn't know you two were going out!"

"We're not." i say

"So this is just a night for Peetie then?" he asks wiggling his eyebrows

"No! I'm not doing it with Peeta!" i shout

"Fuck off Marvel, we'll be down in a minute," Peeta says calmly

"And what if I don't?" he says with a smirk

"I will tell Clove some very serious deep shit I know about you, you know the time when you-" Peeta was cut off by Marvel

"Ok, ok, leaving!" he says going back to the door "You'd make a cute couple," he winks before closing the door behind him as he steps back out to the party

"Um..." i say not really knowing what to do now

"What happens now?" asks Peeta turning to face me

"I really don't know," i say sitting on the bed with my knees curled up against my chest "What do you think?"

"I don't know but I know one thing,"

"What's that?" i ask turning to look at him

"That I would love it if you become my girlfriend..." innocent Peeta, not so innocent now

"I-I ugh..."

"And I know another thing," he says with a smirk "That you're a good kisser,"

"Not so bad yourself," I smirk back and he pushes me lightly

"So what d'ya say?"

"About what?" i ask dumbfounded

"Katniss Everdeen will you be my girlfriend?" i don't reply i simply sit thinking of what has just happened

"I-I-"

"Take your time," he says with a concerned smile

"I-I th-think we should stay friends," i manage

"Fine by me," he says still smiling

"Really?" i ask

"Of course," he smiles and stands up holding out a hand for me "Come on, Clove will be wondering where we are," i take his hand and he leads me downstairs. At the last step he lets go of my hand and i follow him through the crush of people I the bottom of the stairs to the lounge were we found Clove politely sipping her blue WKD.

"There you are!" shouted Clove, she definitely wasn't sober anymore but she definitely wasn't drunk "Where were you?"

"Peeta couldn't find a shirt that fitted," i say covering up the evidence

"And I can't work buttons,"

"And he smelt like puke so I made him go take a shower,"

"Good idea," she agreed. Thank fuck.

* * *

"Hey Lovebirds!" said Marvel boogieing over to us, thank god we were alone, i just give him the shut up glare but he continues "How long?"

"What do you mean _how long?"_ i snap

"How long have you two been together?" he continues unfazed, Peeta looks at the clock on the wall

"We're not going out," says Peeta "We're staying just friends,"

"Ah young love," flutters Marvel "But I know one day you two will get together!"

"God! Boys!" i say rolling my eyes and walking off into the kitchen for another drink. I grab another bottle and find Cato outside on the bench where he saved me from Gale at the last 'Finnick Party.'

"Hey," i say sitting down next to him and turning to face him so that my back rests against the arm of the bench

"Hey," he says a little late, he's down about something

"What's up?" i ask concerned

"Nothing, I'm fine,"

"You're not fine," i state "Come on! You can tell me! I'm like your bestest friend!" i pause "That sounded more drunk than anticipated," he chuckles at me "Really, what's up?"

"There's this girl-"

"God don't talk to me about girls, i just escaped from Marvel and Peeta, I'm already traumatized," he chuckles contently at me "So who's this girl?"

"A good friend, she's amazing like always making me laugh but the next second she can be deadly serious and I end up telling her a lot of shit that is personal stuff, you know?"

"Well yes! I talked to you that day in the woods!" i put my hands over my face "Gah! That was embarrassing,"

"She's beautiful and amazing and she has the best laugh,"

"Well go find her,"

"That's the problem," i raise an eyebrow in response "I'm like ninety nine per cent sure that this other guy likes here..."

"Oh my god! It's Clove!" i squeal

"It's not Clove."

"Is she here?"

"Yes,"

"Have you talked to her?"

"Yes," he wasn't giving me much to work on "Finn is most definitely having a new year's eve party so you should ask her to it,"

"That's a good idea," he smiles "You look good tonight," he winks

"Thanks," i smile back "Thanks," i repeat

"I may be polite but you don't have to say it twice," he smirks

"Actually I was thanking you for being a real good friend,"

"Thanks princess,"

"Not princess."

* * *

After dancing around with Cato for a bit i head to find Clove making out with Marvel.

"Oh you guys!" i shout clapping my hands together and they immediately pull back "_You'd make a cute couple_," i say reminding Marvel of his remark at Peeta and I

"Tell no one," hisses Marvel into my ear

"You keep quiet, I keep quiet. Deal?" i say fluttering my eyelashes

"Deal," he agrees before turning back to Clove and I wink at her as she goes bright red.

I walk through the kitchen and spot Peeta on his own.

"Hey," i say

"Hey," he says glumly "Can I ask a question?"

"You just did," he chuckles and i nod for him to speak

"Why not?"

"Are you sure you want me to answer?"

"Yes, do it honestly, so i know where not to go wrong with any other girl,"

"Peeta, you didn't do anything wrong," i say touching his arm

"I had to! Else you would be my girlfriend!"

"Peeta, you're one of my closest friends, i don't want to jeopardise that!" he nods slowly "And I wouldn't want to hurt our friendship if we ever broke up,"

"What if we didn't ever break up?"

"I can't predict that and neither can you, I would rather have an amazing friend that is a boy that comes over and we watch movies and talk about the celebrities we would definitely have sex with if we were ever allowed! I want to not have these awkward conversations! I want to be able to hang out with you when we practice songs for the band! I want to be able to let you into my room without thinking what's going to happen next! I want to be able to forget about my time with Gale for a little longer, while I still can,"

"I'm sorry," he says

"You have no reason to apologise," i say "Friends?"

"Friends," he confirms and we hug.

Peeta was a great guy but definitely not for me. At the moment anyway.

* * *

"Come dance with me Everdeen," said Gale grabbing my arm

"Why would I do that?" i ask

"Because I need to talk to you," he said pulling me to the dance floor. Why would he need to talk to me?

* * *

What did you think? Review telling me what you think Gale should want to talk about and maybe your idea will make it into the next chapter! ;)

PM me questions you want answering! And review of course!

- Court x


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys, I'm real happy cause i got 97% on my Spanish Exam, 81% on my Geography Exam and 79% on my food tech exam! Yay! Anyways here's your chaptah!

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

"Because I need to talk to you," he says pulling me to the 'dance floor' where the music was too loud for anyone to overhear us

"What do you want Gale?" i say firmly

"I told Glimmer that I don't want her,"

"And that affects me, how?"

"I wanted you to know,"

"Good for you," i say turning away until he pulled me back

"That's not just it Katniss,"

"Then what is it Gale? I have friends to talk to,"

"I want us to be back to normal,"

"Normal? I'm sorry but normal was out of the question when you tried to seduce me at Finnick's Halloween party,"

"I did what?" he says eyes wide

"Oh yeah, you were drunk as per usual,"

"Katniss, I'm sorry, I was drunk! I couldn't help it!"

"You could have! By not getting drunk!"

"True," he says "What's going on with you and Blondie?"

"What Peeta or Cato?"

"Both."

"Nothing, their my friends..." i say stating the obvious, if i told Gale about Peeta kissing me he would go crazy and I just knew it

"That's not what it looks like,"

"Well that's what it is and if you don't like it then-" i am cut off by his voice

"I'm in love with you!"

"Well I'm not in love with you!" i snap back

"Seemed to when we made out in the hall or when we had sex or-"

"I was in love with the idea of someone loving me," he stayed silent "Now off you pop Glitter's most definitely looking for you whilst ruining her make-up," i say before walking off leaving him alone on the 'dance floor' before he soaked up into the crowd.

* * *

"I'm going back to Effie's," i say to Clove who is standing next to Marvel, Peeta and Cato

"Coming with!" she stays putting her drink down "You know we should have a sleepover!"

"Clove you're already staying over..."

"No the guys too!" Peeta and I stare at each other and i briskly shake my head

"Come on Kitty we won't try anything!" says Marvel tugging my braid

"As long as you don't call me Kitty," i say "I don't like nicknames,"

"Whatever you say princess," smirks Cato

We say good bye to Finnick before we leave and stumble down the street back to Effie's. Saying Effie's house sounded weird but not as weird as home. So for now it would stay as 'Effie's' even if Prim insisted that we stay there for as long as she let us.

"Katniss!" says Effie standing up from the table after putting her coffee mug down. She definitely didn't need coffee.

"Is it ok?" i ask regarding my friends

"Of course!" she pips "I'm going to bed so you can use the living room, there are sleeping bags in the airing cupboard!" with that she hopped up the stairs and off to bed.

* * *

After getting the sleeping bags and my duvet as well as a few pillows we settle down in the living room. All of us laid next to each other. From left to right it went Cato, Me, Peeta, Clove and Marvel. Being next to Peeta made me feel uneasy but we soon got into the conversation and started to relax.

"What is this movie even called?" groaned Marvel

"It's the hunger games and it's Clove and mine's favourite movie," i say reaching for the popcorn

"Only because it has Alexander Ludwig in it!" says Marvel reminding me of the conversation we had

"And Leven Rambin," i say looking at him

"Fine. I'll watch it," he says turning back to the TV and Clove cheers.

By the time Jennifer Lawrence has blew up the Careers' food supply, my eyes begin to droop and slowly i drift off to sleep.

* * *

I wake up startled by one of my nightmares, i look at the clock, it's 5am.

I didn't scream, obviously, as everyone is still asleep. Then i notice that Peeta has his arm draped around my hip and i gently move it off me and back to his side, causing him to stir slightly, but he doesn't wake. I slip from beneath my sleeping bag and quietly pad into the kitchen barefoot.

I am cold in the kitchen wearing only a pair of fabric shorts and a vest shirt so I decide to make a coffee to warm me up.

Soon i am sat on the counter sipping the warmth that is preserved as coffee from my mug when the door opens.

"Hey," says Cato running his hand through his hair i smile and set my coffee mug down

"You're up early," i say glancing at the kitchen clock, it's now 5:30am

"Could say the same thing about you,"

"Touché, coffee?"

"No thanks,"

"Tea?"

"Meh, go on then,"

I quickly make him a mug of tea and hand it to him. Where our hands touch i get a shock

"Hey! You just gave me an electric shock!" i squeal

"Not you gave me an electric shock!" i narrow my eyes at him and he does the same then we both laugh and continue our conversation

"So, I saw you with Gale. He didn't try anything did he?"

"No, not really," i lie but he sees straight through it

"What happened?"

"He told me that he 'broke up' with Glimmer,"

"Is that it?"

"Mhmm..." i say trying to put it off

"What happened?"

"He err told me that he err loves me,"

"Holy crap!"

"Keep your voice down!" i hiss

"What did you say?"

"The truth,"

"And that was...?"

"That i was in love with the idea if someone loving me,"

"Please tell me that he had to most hilarious expression ever," he says slurping some of his tea

"He did," we both laugh

"You gotta admit that Finnick's parties are the best,"

"You sound like you're in love with him! Are you sure you're not gay instead of Marvel,"

"Oh you know what I mean," he says pushing me lightly.

* * *

We talk until eight and we decide to wake up the rest of our sleeping friends.

"Why?!" moans Marvel

"It's a Saturday," moans Peeta

"I'll get the bucket," i say to Clove and she immediately sits up

"What the hell, Clove? She won't actually do it!" says Marvel snuggling into his pillow

"Oh she will," says Clove

"Cato would you be a dear and fetch the-"

"Up! I'm up!" says both Marvel and Peeta.

* * *

My phone rings as we sit in the woods mucking around for our Saturday picnic.

"Hello?" i answer

"Hey Katniss," i immediately recognise the caller

"Prim!" i squeal and everyone turns to look at me "What?" i say directed at them

"What you up to?" she asks

"Just hanging out with my friends at the woods," i say

"Tell Clove I say hi," i tell Clove and shouts hello back to Prim can hear

"What did you want little duck?" i ask

"Just calling to say I'll be home in at four o'clock,"

"Ok," i say "How's school been?"

"Great, but don't worry about me Katniss! Hang out with your friends!" with that she hangs up and i sit there and put my hand on my heart

"Oh Kat, what's wrong?" asks Clove

"My little sister just hung up on me," i mope but really I'm faking it, they all laugh and I join in "She's gonna be back at four,"

"In the meantime..." says Marvel getting a bottle out the bag "Let's play truth or dare," he spins the bottle and it lands on Peeta. Marvel smirks and I immediately know that he's up to something. "Peeta truth or dare?"

Don't say dare. Don't say truth. Gah! Either way I'm screwed!

"Dare?" he says almost questioning himself

"Alright I dare you to kiss Katniss for more than three seconds," i stare in horror.

Oh god no.

"I refuse!" i say holding up my hands protesting against the stupid game

"Shut up and kiss the poor boy," says Clove and I give her a glare, Peeta leans forward and i feel uneasy, i don't want to kiss Peeta. But i let him, for the dare, right? I count three seconds but Peeta is still kissing me. I panic and push him back. Peeta glows red now and i turn to see Cato staring at Peeta.

I immediately reach for the vanilla milkshake we bought from the convenience store on the way here, according to Marvel I was boring but I didn't care, i liked vanilla. I take a big swig and we return to the game.

Peeta spins the bottle and it lands on Cato.

"Truth or dare?" he asks

"Truth," says Cato

"Do you have a crush on someone?" he asks

"Yes." says Cato honestly

"Who is it?" asks Marvel giddy

"You've used your one question!" protests Cato

"Who else knew?" asks Marvel now upset that he doesn't get to know stuff

"Me," i say "We were outside and he talked to me about his mystery girl, he went on and on about how amazing she was and how funny she was, blah blah blah,"

"Did he mention a name?"

"Nope."

But then it bothers me for some reason, unlike the time when we talked about it.

Why does it bother me?

* * *

There ya go! Hope you liked it! Send me reviews with ideas for storylines in it and you could get your storyline put into my fanfiction! Will update tomorrow! So get your fingers on these keys and send me a storyline or just ask something that you are unsure about with the storyline that has already been put in place!

- Court x


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys, this one's a bit slow today but i hope you don't mind, I've had a very... frustrated day...

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

"Merry Christmas Princess!" shouts Cato and the others as I open the front door. Cato adds to princess at the end to annoy me and it works, i roll my eyes. Effie invited all my friends over for dinner at seven, i was so thankful. Even Prim is home for Christmas. Effie even sent an invite to my mother, she didn't reply but the home did.

"Hey guys," i say opening the door wide and held it open for them, i laughed as Finnick tickled me under my chin and I mouth the words 'inside joke' to an annoyed looking Peeta. Why would he be annoyed? Oh yes, the kiss. Him declaring his undying love for me. I had almost forgotten about that...

* * *

"Prim can you pass the sweetcorn?" i ask politely and she hands it over the table

"Prim is so damn cute," whispers Marvel in my ear and i laugh as I scoop the sweetcorn onto my plate. Cato's, Marvel's and Peeta's eyes pop when they see how much is on my plate

"What?" i ask oblivious stuffing a Yorkshire pudding into my mouth

"You're seriously gonna eat all that?" asks Peeta dumbfounded

"Well what else am I going to do with it? Make a smoothie?"

"Katniss has always loved a roast dinner," says Finnick waving his fork around

"Especially with Yorkshire pudding," says Clove smiling as I pop another into my mouth. Marvel prods at my stomach.

"Where does it all go?" he says and we all laugh "Are you sure?" he asks giving me a questioning look

"Just you watch!"

He watches in awe as i eat the mountain of food on my plate, forcing myself not to lick the gravy off the plate.

"Woah," says Cato "I didn't think that a princess is supposed to eat that much,"

"More of a reason to stop calling me Princess!" i say and he rolls his eyes at me whilst still smirking "Thanks Effie, one of the best Christmas dinner's yet," i say, Prim nods. Snow was always 'busy' at Christmas so we ordered turkey pizza.

"How can I make it better?" she asks with a glint in her eye, perfection, she wants to achieve it. Prim looks at me warning me not to say it but I do.

"You can bring my dad back from the dead and give my mother back her sanity," then all is silent.

I can see Prim mouthing to me, i concentrate on the way that her plump little pink lips move

_Well done Katniss._

* * *

We all sit around in the living room opening presents. I have two left, after receiving a signed copy of Sleeping With Sirens single Low from Clove, a set of cat ears from Finnick that glow in the dark and a mug from Marvel that says 'MARVEL IS NOT GAY' in bold black writing, a gift card for the mall from Effie and a framed picture of the four of us, me, mom, dad and Prim. I look at it for a second before mouthing thank you and tucking it away before i burst into tears.

I gave Clove a new charm for her charm bracelet, it was a microphone. I get Finnick some Advil for his hangovers, I get Marvel a 'MARVEL'S MARVELLOUS' mug with all our faces on like he designed, i got Peeta a new icing bag for his cupcakes and it has his name embroidered on it, I get Prim a pink dress and Effie a new hat.

As Cato unwraps his i stop unwrapping the one Peeta gave me and turn to watch him.

He stares down at the gift in the wrapping paper. A journal for him to write in. He flips through the pages from back to front stopping on the first page and looking at my writing.

_Thank you.  
-Katniss_

He looks up from the page and everyone stares. Even Prim.

"Thank you," i say

"You always say that," he says

"And you never except it, now you have to," i say with a cocky grin "It's in the book," he laughs understanding and every else just says we're crazy but who isn't.

Prim demands that before I find out what Peeta's is I open Cato's.

I open it quickly and find a glass block with 3d writing etched onto the inside-

_You're beautiful even with the scars  
-Cato_

I hug him tightly as Prim reads the text for herself before passing it along to Clove and everyone else. Peeta sighs and places it carefully back down in front of me, i roll my eyes at his impatience and open the box from the inside of the wrapping paper of Peeta's gift. I open the box and find a necklace with a single natural pearl. I gasp.

"Peeta-" i protest but he is having none of it

"Call it a sorry present," he says "Turn around," he says undoing the clasp and throwing it around my neck. I turn back after Peeta closes the clasp and everyone is sat with their mouths wide open.

"DESSERT!" Effie calls. Everyone scrambles to the kitchen but I don't, i pick up the photo Prim got me and go sit outside on the bench. What is it with me, the outdoors and these damn benches?

I stare at the photo remembering his smile, i don't notice the tears until Cato comes out.

"Don't cry Katniss," he says putting his arm around me and i instinctively bury my face in his shirt.

I just stop. All of a sudden the tears aren't flowing anymore and i lean back.

"You didn't have to give me the glass block," i say wiping my eyes

"But i did," he replies "I want you to read that everyday until you believe it,"

"But-" he shuts me up by passing me a bowl of warm Christmas pudding

"It's the truth," he says "You're beautiful even with the scars."

* * *

Sorry this is sort but i couldn't get in the Christmassy mood. Extra long one tomorrow, i promise! The end of Christmas day, the day's before new year's eve and of course the party! There will be drama instead of this fluffiness!


	16. Chapter 16

Hey guys, i got some reviews and what not so thanks, tell your friends and send me PMs with questions you want answering and reviews with what you want to happen.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

We sit around watching movies for the rest of the night, i am sat between Peeta and Cato and Marvel, Clove and Finnick are at my feet, in front of the sofa. I am drinking from my Marvel is not gay mug and Marvel is drinking from his Marvel's Marvellous mug.

"This movie sucks," whispers Peeta

"It's not so bad when you get past the whole Edward i need you phase," i whisper back, Prim and Clove adore this movie and danced around for ten minutes just to put in on. Effie caved. Now we're stuck watching Twilight. Oh joy.

"You're only happy cause the guy who plays Jacob takes his shirt off every ten minutes,"

"Well yeah but the storyline is crap,"

"Wanna ditch?"

"Nope," i say "I wouldn't want to miss any of it for the world."

It's true, being here with my little sister, Marvel, Finnick, Clove, Cato and even Effie was great but I couldn't help but feel that Peeta was trying to say something with his expensive gift and how he keeps asking if we want to get away from the others. The kiss has definitely affected our friend relationship in more than one way.

My dings loudly and Prim and Clove immediately shush me, so i hop out from the sofa and down the hall.

"Hello?"

"Hey Katniss, it's Cinna,"

"How did you get my number?"

"Clove, she said if i needed to call you guys at anytime you would always have your phone with you,"

"That's true, so what did you need?"

"I want the band the perform at a school assembly dedicated to bullying awareness," oh crap.

* * *

After telling everyone the news they seem happy and Cato gives me one knowing look. It's kinda crazy how alike we are. I tell them that I will have written a song by Finnick's party so that we can start practicing when we get back to school, as the assembly is a week after we start back at school giving us plenty of time to practice.

After everyone heads home I say good night to Effie and Prim, then head up to my room. I dig my journal out from its hiding place in the floorboards, where no one can see it, i wouldn't want anyone to get hold of it like Snow did.

I scribble down words that would make good lyrics and write the notes to the melody for Cato. Once you get that sort everyone can just try and make it flow, it seems to work with us.

I still don't have the words to finish a song but i have one verse complete and i decide that is enough for now. I slide the journal back in its hiding place and change into my pyjamas.

"Knock knock," says Effie entering my room "I thought that you might want me to bring your presents up," she says placing the small box next to me on my bed "What Peeta gave you must have been really expensive,"

"I know,"

"Do you like him?"

"Of course I do, he's my friend,"

"Not like that silly!"

"Oh! No! I wouldn't want to hurt our friendship, but that already seems to have been damaged already,"

"What do you mean?"

"At Finnick's party, he kissed me,"

"And what did you do?"

"Pulled back, i didn't want to kiss Peeta!"

"Then what happened?"

"He told me that he was in love with me and i said i just wanted to stay friends and he agreed, since then things have been real awkward and he keeps giving me these compliments and- this necklace must have cost a fortune!"

"Yes, what about Cato and his glass prism," she says getting it out the box

"He always knows what to say or do, or what not to say or what not to do and it just works. I can tell him anything and I trust him with it,"

"That there is the right relationship for a relationship,"

"No! Cato is going to ask some girl out for the new year's party,"

"And are you jealous?"

"Well no, I'm just curious about who this girl is," she just smirks at me and rolls her eyes. "There is a young man with dark hair and a motorbike outside, insisting to see you,"

"Shit, Gale," i say peeking out my curtains "Thanks Effie," i say sprinting out my room, but before i leave i see her place the photo of my parents with me and Prim on the mantle piece.

* * *

I open the door and find Gale waiting out on the porch still holding his bike helmet.

"Hey," he says

"Hey," i say suspiciously

"Merry Christmas,"

"What are you doing here? And don't say carolling because I know you can't sing,"

"Ok, you got me there," he chuckles

"Why are you here Gale?"

"I wanted to give you a Christmas present,"

"I err... didn't get you one,"

"Don't worry about it, you can still give me one by accepting my offer,"

"If your offer is some sex-"

"No, I'm asking for you and I to be friends again, stupid?"

"Depends," i say "I still haven't heard a proper apology,"

"I'm sorry for being a sadistic bastard who needed a good slap, which you did may I add which left a lovely red mark for a couple days,"

"Job well done," he chuckles at my comment

"Now for the present," he said reaching for something out of his bike

"Oh no Gale, you didn't need to-"

"Just shut up and open the god damn box," he said shoving a small red box in my hand, i sigh and flip open the lid revealing a mockingjay pin. But why a mockingjay? I give him a questioning look and he explains contently "You are the symbol of rebellion Katniss, you are not the normal mainstream kinda person and I admire that,"

"Thanks," i say still looking at the pin "Thanks," i repeat.

* * *

I put on a pair of black leggings, an Oh. t-shirt, black converse, black knitted beret and military jacket which is big enough to cover my butt. Clove forces me to wear liquid black eyeliner to once again 'make my eyes pop' and some rebellious red lipstick along with the mockingjay pin on my left breast pocket. I clasp Peeta's necklace on along with several chunky bracelets and braid my hair.

Ready to go.

Clove and I walk to Finnick's, we can here the music from down the road. Most definitely Finnick would already be drunk if not he would be later.

"Hello ladies," smirks Finnick. Definitely now. When finally getting past our beloved Finnick we grab some drinks.

"Hey," says Peeta grabbing a bottle and walking over to Clove and I

"Hey," we both reply

"I'm going to find Marvel," says Clove before skipping off into the crowd

"You look nice," he says

"Thanks," this is awkward

"I see you're wearing the necklace," he smiles

"Yup." i say before slurping my coke

"I'm glad you like it,"

"You must have spent a lot on it,"

"That's not for you to worry about,"

"But it is Peeta!" he rolls his eyes "I'm getting some air," i say before walking out the French door and letting myself fall onto the bench next to Cato

"What's put you in a bad mood?" he asks

"Peeta shouldn't have gave me this stupid necklace," i say taking it off and holding it in my hand still looking at the pearl

"Trouble in paradise?" i simply roll my eyes

"What happened to your date?" i ask

"She's here,"

"So you didn't have the balls to ask her out?" he shakes his head "Idiot," i say smirking and he punches me lightly on the arm

"She didn't need me to have a good time,"

"She's definitely missing out," i say "More for me," i wink and he chuckles

"That's the thing,"

"Huh?" i ask totally confused

"She's not missing out on anything,"

"Of course she is, she's not sat here with you!"

"Actually, she is," oh good lord of London zoo "You're amazing Katniss," he pauses "I know what happened between you and Peeta-"

"Wait! Who told you?"

"Marvel,"

"That son of a-"

"I'm glad he told me, i didn't want to break you two up,"

"Wait he told you, that me and him are?" i burst into laughter "Now that's even more messed up than me!"

"So you're not going out?"

"No of course not!"

"What's this?" he asks after a little while, he points to the pin

"Gale gave me a Christmas present,"

"Why would he give you a Christmas present?"

"Peace offering." i state and we sit in a comfortable silence for a minute whilst i get my head together "What did you mean earlier?"

"I think I'm in love with you."

"Well that's err... nice?" I'm totally confused, i wouldn't be able to count to three right now if i had to "It's just i don't-" he cuts me off by pulling his smooth plump lips down on mine. His taste of apple and not alcohol like Gale used to. I should stop comparing him to Gale after all Gale betrayed me and somehow I know that Cato won't.

I kiss him back.

"I like you too," i whisper

"I was hoping you'd say that."

* * *

What did you guys think? Mwah ha ha ha what an ending to a chapter huh? You've waited sixteen chapters for one kiss! Kinda shows you how long this is gonna be, more party in the next chapter :* bye my lovelies! Remember to review with plot twists and what you liked and disliked, pm me questions you want answering, favourite and follow this story and my profile AND tell your friends xxx

Bye for now, probably wont update till Saturday, sorry guys, Friday's are my busy days!

- Court x


	17. Chapter 17

I've been real busy so sorry for not updating but here is the next chapter so calm down and i am also making another fanfics about Glimmer and Katniss going into the hunger games together and eventually Katniss will find love in Cato, which involves a lot of drama-

Unlikely.

Unlikely. Unlikely was the chance of Prim being chosen for the hunger games. Unlikely was the chance of someone volunteering for her. Unlikely was the chance of having to fight against a long lost friends. And very unlike that either of us would come out alive.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

**Morning x  
-Cato**

I lift my hung-over head from my pillow and pull my phone off the bedside table to read my text.

"Turn off the light! It's too bright!" said a voice from under the covers of my bed. I jumped and dropped my phone on the floor. What happened last night? I rub the sleep out my eyes and sit up realising that I'm in my underwear. What happened last night? I text Cato.

**What happened last night?  
-Kat**

**You got very drunk.  
-Cato**

**What happened after our, um yanno... kiss?  
-Kat**

**Peeta was pissing u off so u decided to down A LOT of shots. Then u left, i guess you will have to fill in the rest urself :L feel better. x  
-Cato**

I rubbed my eyes again and dared to lift the covers slightly.

"HOLY SHIT PEETA?"

"Oh, good morning Katniss," says Peeta calmly awaking from his slumber

"What the fuck happened last night?"

"Err..."

"Peeta?" i growl "Tell me what happened?"

"Can you get dressed first? It's very distracting," i forgot that i was in my underwear

"Don't look," i say peeling myself from the covers and legging it into my bathroom with some jeans and a t-shirt.

* * *

"So what happened last night?" i ask braiding my hair and Peeta finishes to do up his shirt buttons "Please tell me that you weren't drunk as well..." i don't know what would have happened during a drunken escapade with Peeta.

"I wasn't drunk," he states "Because I can still remember last night," he said wiggling his eyebrows

"What the fuck happened last night?" i stopped doing my braid and stared at Peeta

"Well..."

"Spit it out!" i snap "I don't have anytime for any extra BS so spit it out!"

"We did _it_,"

"WHAT?" i screech

"Do you really want me to repeat it?"

"No," i say still glaring him "Did we use protection?"

"Yes,"

"Good," i mutter "Did we do anything else?"

"We made out for a bit,"

"Other than sexual?"

"Oh yeah you updated your Facebook to in a relationship with Peeta,"

"Oh god," i say "Peeta this was one big mistake-"

"Shut up! This is not a mistake! Last night was perfect!"

"Yeah for you maybe! I was totally off my head! It didn't mean anything!"

"I thought-"

"Yeah well you thought wrong,"

"Now you listen here," he said pushing me up against the wall "What do you think would happen if I told Cato about our little investment last night?"

"You wouldn't,"

"Oh but I would, after all you did change your relationship status,"

"What are you proposing?"

"I wont tell Cato that we had sex if you stay my girlfriend,"

"I'm not agreeing to anything until you tell me exactly what you want,"

"You have to kiss me in front of everyone at least twice a day,"

"And by everyone you mean?"

"Cato."

"Thought so," i mutter "Anything else?"

"We have to have sex again,"

"Nah, no way!"

"Then I'll just call-"

"Fine, but i still say that you'd be better of with that slut Glitter,"

"Don't try to push me."

"Anything else?"

"If you break our agreement I won't even hesitate to call Snow and get you sent to another crazy home whilst i take care of Cato,"

"You wouldn't,"

"Oh but I would." and he isn't lying.

* * *

My phone rang as i sat watching a movie with Prim. It was Cato. I stepped out into the back yard for some privacy and answered the call.

"What's up Cato?" i ask trying to sound normal but failing miserably

"I thought you liked me," he says, i can feel his anger

"What are you talking about?"

"Relationship status, Facebook, Mellark."

"Oh er..."

"I thought you didn't like him in that way!"

"I er..."

"For God sakes Katniss we kissed lasted night! I thought you liked me!"

"So did I," i say too quietly to hear

"Figure out want you want Katniss,"

"It's complicated," i argue

"What's complicated? Having feelings for me or just wanting to get into my pants because I'm sure you've probably already broken Mellark's virgin status," oh god, he's right

"No! Not like that! I can't tell you, you just have to trust me!"

"Trust you? You must be out of your mind! I thought we had something special, that made us closer!"

"There is!"

"Then why can't you tell me what is happening with you?"

"Because I'm afraid you'll get hurt!"

"How can I get hurt?"

"I don't know..."

"How can I Katniss?"

"I said I don't know, you just have to trust me. Please!"

"I don't think that it's possible to hurt more than I do now, and we both know that trust is out of the question,"

"Cato! Please! I can't lose you!"

"You should have thought about that." with that he hangs up.

I go back inside and tell Prim that i have homework to do. I run upstairs and empty my pencil case to find my sharpener. I easily unscrew the screw with shaking fingers and i hold the blade against my skin whispering to myself.

"It will fade with the scars, it will fade with the scars."

* * *

The next day everyone is round at the shed at the bottom of the garden for band rehearsal. Cato turns up late.

"Where the hell have you been?" shouts Clove

"I was busy," he says monotone. He's put up the wall like i did.

"Because I'm sure you have an avid social life," yells Clove sarcastically

"Calm down," i say putting my hand on her shoulder "He's here now, we should just start practicing,"

We get down to practicing and I awkwardly teach them the new song with ease.

"Hey Kat, come over here a second," says Peeta from the drum kit, Cato just seems to be aimlessly strumming his guitar and Clove is talking to Marvel. I notice his ice blue eyes following me, without trying to be noticed. I don't turn to face him I just walk over to Peeta.

"Yeah?" i ask sweetly

"You are looking beautiful today," he smirks knowing that Cato is listening

"Thanks," i say with that he pulls my lips down on his and as heart breaking as it must be for Cato i know that i have to kiss Peeta back.

"Finally!" shouts Marvel and both Peeta and I pull apart, i blush "I was wondering when you two would get together," he smirks

"How long?" squeals Clove, I am just about the answer went Peeta beats me to it

"About a week," lies Peeta "We wanted to keep it quiet," he says

All i can think is Cato. He looks broken, badly broken. I know I can tell him anything because Peeta would hurt him. I'm not even sure if Peeta would be I would rather be safe than sorry. I give him an apologetic look and he looks away angrily.

Thanks Peeta. Just thanks.

* * *

Sorry for the shortness but i will try to make up for it next chapter! Other than that what did you think? Reviews please! Then go head over to Unlikely and check that out. I will upload a couple of chapters to that tonight! x Hope that you are loving the story and that you can understand what is going on, if not please feel free to PM me any questions you want answering and I was answer back as quickly as possible and as best as I can!

- Court x


	18. Chapter 18

Bonjour mes amis! Hola mes amigos! Not many reviews huh? Come on guys I like need them to survive! And take a look at Unlikely my new fanfic so far it has two chaptahs but i am willing to update later tonight ;) Anyways here's your eighteenth instalment to Lost.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

The first day back, i haven't spoken to Cato since he found out about Peeta and I. Needed to tell him but Peeta keeps telling me to leave it. Clove just agrees thinking that it is just Cato's time of the month but the guy version, thanks for that image Clove. It was explained in much detail by my lovely friend Clove who even drew a diagram with the help of Finnick.

"Hi Marv,"

"Yo," he replies

"What's up?" i ask

"Cato's being a bitch," moaned Marvel "Ever since you and Peeta got together-"

"Don't remind me,"

"What happened between you two?"

"It's a long story,"

"I'm free this period,"

"Same,"

"Woods?" he asks knowingly

"Woods." i agree.

* * *

"Peeta did what?!" he shouts "Just because during your drunken escapades you are somewhat irresistible doesn't mean he has the right to take advantage of you like that!"

"Calm down," i hiss

"That son of a-"

"Just because I was his first I am suddenly caught in all this crap," i say resting my head on my knees "Remind me to never drink again,"

"It was only because you weren't babysitting Clove as per usual,"

"Don't blame Clove,"

"I'm not! I'm blaming Peeta!" he pouts "Anyways, why's Cato so frickin' worked up?"

"Wemighthavekissedattheparty," i rush through my words

"Slower, please,"

"We kissed at that damn party,"

"Oh my god! No way!"

"Yup,"

"You are so perfect for each other,"

"No we're not, shut up," i say punching his arm "Anyway I could ask you the same about dear Clover, how are things between you two?"

"Good,"

"Secret girlfriend?"

"How did you guess?" he asks shocked

"Puh-please you are all she talks about!" he blushes in reply

"You gonna talk to Cato?"

"I can't,"

"Peeta's got it coming to him,"

"You are not doing anything!"

"Course! What will i do when he practically rapes you? Huh?"

"He wont rape me,"

"Well you don't want to have sex with him again do you?"

"No! Of course not!"

"My point exactly," he says folding his arms "So what are we going to do about Cato?"

* * *

"Can we talk?" i ask Cato as he shuts his locker

"What about?"

"Oh I don't know fluffy frickin' bunnies?"

"Sarcasm still working then?"

"After school, the woods," i say back away down the corridor

"And if I don't come?"

"Guess it wouldn't matter!" i shout back. Soon i am down the corridor and heading to my next class, biology with Peeta. Joy.

"Babe," he says kissing me full on the mouth, i let him kiss me then sit briskly next to him "I think we should do it,"

"Huh?" i ask breaking free from my daydream

"I think we should do it," i sit awkwardly not knowing what to say and not knowing whether i can talk him out of it "Meet me at my truck after school, if you don't meet me there then i guess Cato would-"

"Fine," i say and the lesson continues, i ignore his worthless conversation for the rest of the lesson, i couldn't do it with Peeta. Not even in my drunken state, surely.

I push the thought out my mind.

"See you later," says Peeta kissing me on the cheek and walking to his maths room whilst i walk to creative writing which i shared with Marvel

"Kitty," he smiles and i roll my eyes "What happened?"

"Can we just get on with the lesson? I just don't want to talk about it." he nods and we listen to our lecture about how to set out a piece of writing and get given some homework or rather an assignment due in at the end of the year, a bit long for one assignment i argue but the teacher just wants to make it sound good, it was titled-

_A Story You Can Never Forget_

I close my folder and shove it in my bag as the bell rings signalling the end of the day. I wait till everyone else files out the class leaving me and Marvel in the room.

"This better be good," he says

"Peeta wants to do it,"

"Holy shit!" he shouts, this time i don't shush him

"But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about,"

"Then what is it?"

"Go tell Cato everything, go to the woods, he'll be by the lake,"

"Are you sure?"

"As much as I don't want him to get hurt i think i can put Peeta off for a while,"

"You're a brave girl, Katniss Everdeen," he says hugging me and i hold my face into his chest "Maybe someday it'll all blow over,"

"Yeah maybe," i say unconvincingly, i let go of Marvel, we do not need words and I walk out of the classroom not daring to look back. I pass Clove in the hallway and she smiles, i just shrug and tell her I'm meeting Peeta. She backs off and I find Peeta out the front by his new truck.

"Hey babe," he says pulling me into extreme lip lock, i don't push him off. We get into his truck and he drives to his house.

'Better make this quick' i tell myself. Soon we are at Peeta's house and he pulls me upstairs to his room.

He pushes me down onto the bed and he starts kissing me, along my neck and my jawline. I don't move.

* * *

_Cato's POV! (i know another POV but i need to bulk up the chapter a bit and Katniss' POV wouldn't cut it on its own)_

* * *

I shove my books in my locker and debating going to meet her. I slam the locker shut and stomp over to the woods. I want an explanation but will she give it to me? I get to the lake and find Marvel waiting for me.

"What the fuck?" i shout stomping over to him

"I would say calm down but what you are going to hear would just make you worse,"

"What are you going on about?"

"Katniss was blackmailed into going out with Peeta,"

"WHAT THE ACTUAL-"

"Not finished." he interrupts firmly still in a monotone voice that I couldn't read "He said that he would hurt you if she didn't go out with him and-" he gulps

"What is it?" he stays silent "WHAT IS IT?" i shout

"And have sex with him!"

"WHAT?"

"She was drunk and he took advantage of her, he's still taking advantage now,"

"What do you mean?"

"Tonight." i understand.

I run, faster than i ever have before. Down the street, it begins to rain. As if my problems could get any worse.

* * *

_Katniss (back to the usual bitch! :P)_

* * *

Peeta is currently unbuttoning my shirt. I feel sick. Just as Peeta reaches for the clasp of my bra his bedroom door burst open. Cato.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" spits Peeta

"To save Katniss' ass, that's what,"

"Katniss you broke our agreement," he said turning to me

"Forget about your stupid agreement," said Cato taking my hand "We're leaving,"

"Oh no you don't," says Peeta shoving him against the wall. Cato quickly retaliates and punches him in the face. I grab my shirt and fumble over the buttons. They're still wrestling until i hear a shout

"STOP!"

Only then did i realise that it came from my mouth.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this action packed chapter! I want reviews and come on guys it isn't that hard to press that lovely little button down there is it? PM me your questions review with comments i don't care if they're just one word, send it along with what you want to happen maybe even plot ideas, like who would be the new drummer? :* will update soon i promise! Either way go check out Unlikely!

Hasta luego!

-Court x


	19. Chapter 19

Ok, i did delete Unlikely... sorry, i just couldn't get into writing it and i didn't know what to write, they do say that writers are only as good as their own experiences! And I'm sorry if i offend you all cause I'm actually getting bored of writing this... sorry... there will be an ending soon and it had to do with Katniss' creative writing essay, who said it couldn't be based on the real world? :* anyways here's your chapter and might i add that it would help if you guys actually reviewed! So if you want me to post another chapter then i better have over sixty reviews from different people! That's three more, can't be too hard right, even if it's just one word! I need to know that you are actually out there!

-Court

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

"STOP!" both boys turn and look at me "I don't want to be fought over! I don't want to have to admit anything to anybody! I just want things to be the way they were."

And with that they knew what i was doing.

I grabbed my bag and ran out the house before either of them could speak. I ran faster than i ever had before and i knew why- anger. Yes i had a temper like any other person but it wasn't just all based on anger.

The lies. The fighting. The hatred.

It was all just too damn much.

There only place there was that was quite had been invaded by people- Cato, Gale, Peeta even Marvel. I guess I let too many people in. I didn't know where i was going, i just followed to where my legs were taking me.

Suddenly i was aware of the distance between Peeta's house and mine. I stopped running and slowed to a walk. Now i knew where i was going.

The steel iron gates and the ghostly weeping angels. I was at the cemetery. I walked through the graves down to the end. I hadn't been here in so long. I continued walking down to his garden.

The grass was densely overgrown and climbed up to my knees as if they were trying to pull me down to drown me in the green beneath my feet.

I dropped my bag and collapsed into the grass in front of his grave.

"I'm so sorry," i whisper into the grass "I just can't do this anymore,"

_"Katniss you can do anything,"_

"I'm way over my head, i think i need to go somewhere, to reinvent myself. Find the real me."

_"I love you,"_

"I love you too," i whisper. I sit up and trace the inscription on the grave.

_Benjamin Everdeen  
Loving husband, father and friend.  
Forever missed._

In his last stages of cancer i remember what he said.

_"I'll never be gone, not properly, i love you Katniss. Never forget that."_

But somehow his message got a little lost along the way.

Lost.

Suddenly i knew what to write for my essay.

I pulled a piece of screwed up paper out my bag and frantically began writing with some crappy biro. It was more than an essay. It was a letter. I would hand it in on graduation like instructed and between then and now. I had to lie low. I had to reinvent myself. A new Katniss, the real Katniss. I need to find the parts of me that I had lost somewhere along the way, and it started with my mother.

* * *

I breathe in the sterile air, it catches in my throat and i can almost taste the cleaning products. I head over to the perfectly clean desk.

"How may I help?" asks the annoyed looking woman behind the desk

"I'm here to see Julia Rose Everdeen,"

"Ah, she's this way," she lead me down the corridor to a white room she nodded for me to knock. I tap the door lightly and my mother opens it.

"Katniss?" she asks confused

"Mother." i say

The woman from behind the front desk leaves quickly. I am alone with my mother.

"How's school?" she asks

"Fine."

"I hear you have a boyfriend," she says with a smirk

"Had." i correct

"How's-"

"I'm not here for a mother daughter talk," i snap

"Then why are you here Katniss?"

"I'm going away after senior year,"

"Where?"

"I don't know." i answer truthfully

"With who?"

"No one, I'm going alone,"

"For how long?"

"I don't know that either,"

"Then why bother coming here to tell me?"

"Prim needs her mother, Effie will not fill her position,"

"Then what do you suggest?"

"You! You have to get your act together! Dad died! He died three years ago!"

"AND YOU THINK I DONT KNOW THAT!?"

"I know that you don't accept it. But Prim needs a mom when I leave after senior year is over you will look after her. So pull yourself together and arrange visits with her or something,"

"But-"

"No. No more. If you do one good thing as a mother for me, you will do as i say and look after Prim." with that i leave the room with my mother in tears and me partly there myself.

Why is life so damn difficult?

My next task if something different. I have to cut off all ties. Every last one. That means breaking hearts, crushing dreams and reverting back to being a bitch.

* * *

The next day I brace myself for a day of anger, frustration, sadness and well anything else that happens to come with it. Oh joy. I get my pack of gum at the ready, it helps with the anger, and slip out Effie's car. I nod goodbye as she bounces off to some class.

"Katniss!" says Marvel throwing his arms around me but i push him off "What's up?" i stay silent "Katniss?" i don't reply i just i leave him there in the hallway as i stomp off to my locker. I grab the correct books and close my locker to find Clove.

"Hey," she smiles, i ignore her and walk away. Today would be hard, i didn't really want to do it but i had to. I didn't want to hurt them but i had to. It hurt me to hurt them.

"Katniss can we talk?" asks Peeta

"No." i say continuing to walk down the hall

"Katniss..." he continues but i ignore him and pick up my pace a bit causing him to run slightly.

I find Gale at his locker.

"Katniss, hey-" he says but i cut him off by going into full on lip lock with him. I hear Peeta walk away and I pull back "That was uncalled for,"

"I needed to keep Peeta off my back,"

"Well that certainly worked,"

"If you think of this as anymore than-"

"I get it, it's fine,"

"Thanks." i say

"Anytime," he winks, i walk off down the corridor, alone at last.

* * *

In English Marvel kept trying to talk to me which was followed by silence he even reverted to throwing screwed up paper at me. I still ignored him. In math with Clove i ignored her questions in fact i ignored her totally. To summarise the day. I ignored everybody. Lunch was the worst.

"You coming?" asked Clove, i ignore her and walk out into the woods. This time I go further than i have ever gone before. I get to a meadow full of flowers and i sit. I just sit eating my lunch.

"Thought I would find you out here," says a familiar voice sitting down next to me. Cato. "I'm sorry about yesterday,"_ Me too._ "Come eat lunch with us, please," _i cant_ "Why are you ignoring us?" _I'm leaving, cutting off all ties_ "If it's that thing about not waiting to burden with your shit or whatever you know that i bench 225," _ok, so you're strong... can you go now? _"Please don't do this again Katniss," _do what? save you from my shit_ but of course he can't hear what I'm saying. He doesn't speak anymore. He just sits there. Watching out into the sun.

"You're leaving aren't you?" i choke on my sandwich "You want to find the real you, don't you?" i gulp how does he know all this

"You can't stop me," i stutter

"I know,"

"Then what's the point of this?"

"When are you leaving?"

"Answer my questions!"

"Not until you answer mine. When. Are. You. Leaving?"

"When senior year ends, i need to graduate,"

"How long are you going for?"

"I don't know, however long it takes."

"That's what I said," he paused "And now i know that I'm never going back," i give him a questioning look "There was a girl, to clarify she was my girlfriend, she was in love with me but i wasn't in love with her. I couldn't live a lie so I just left, she stuck by me after the name calling and everything, i felt like i betrayed her and then I met you. There was just something about you. Something different. Don't leave Katniss,"

"I have to,"

"You don't! You could stay here but to you here isn't good enough,"

"Stop putting words into my mouth!"

"But it's true though isn't it!"

"NO! IT'S NOT!"

"Then tell me why you're leaving,"

"I can't face it anymore. The scars. The kids that whisper whenever I'm near. Snow. This damn school. Peeta. Prim. My dad."

"Say it." he says and i feel a tear roll down my cheek

"I CAN'T FACE LIFE ANYMORE! I WANT TO DIE! THERE I SAID IT!" with that he pulled me into his arms and i sobbed into his chest.

"It's ok to be weak sometimes," he whispers and he kisses my forehead.


	20. Chapter 20

Ok I'm sorry for being slow I was at the dentist, as you do :D anyways...

So you will be glad to hear that I'm continuing this story for now and i would like to say thanks to those that have reviewed, i hear some of you cried? ok... but thanks for reviewing and shit, we're on chapter twenty! TWENTY! And I would love to dedicate this chapter to **LilyZ**, and give you that good ole' Bob Marley song- Everything little thing is gonna be alright ;)

Also for the next chapter to be posted I would like at least five reviews :* so type something in that lovely little box down there then press that lovely little button!

- Court x

* * *

Chapter Twenty

I don't know how long I was in Cato's arms for, to be honest I didn't care, I just felt safe. He didn't try to comfort me with crappy words of encouragement, he just stayed silent knowing that words sometimes don't help.

God this boy is perfect!

I pulled back and wiped my eyes.

"Truth is," he starts "I don't want you to go,"

"I-I- I don't know what to say," i admit with my head down facing the grass

"You don't have to say anything," and with that he lifts my chin up and brings his lips onto mine, we both pull back and I rest my head on his shoulder, he places an arm around me protectively. We watch the sun set for a while until I speak up.

"I need to apologise to everyone,"

"Already done," he says

"What?" i ask with wide eyes

"Everyone went out looking for you, they'd forgiven you before Peeta could even button up his shirt," i nod silently "Whenever you feel crappy you can tell me you know,"

"I know," i whisper just then Cato's phone rings loudly and we jump apart

"Shit," he mutters as he slips his iPhone from his pocket "Hello?" ... "She's here,"... "Yes she's fine,"... "Fine, I'll put you on," he hands the phone over to me

"Katniss! Oh my god are you ok?" says the voice from the other end of the line. Clove.

"I'm fine,"

"Where were you?"

"In the woods,"

"Ah shit! I already went there!" i hear in the background, the voice resembling Marvel

"Hey Marvie," i say loudly

"Yo," i hear faintly

"Kat," says Clove a little quietly, too quietly "I think we may need a new drummer,"

"What happened?"

"Well... err...Marvel... he uh..."

"WHAT DID MARVEL DO?"

"He kinda beat the shit out of Peeta..."

"Oh god," i say then i point my finger accusingly at Cato "Did you know about this?" he shakes his head and holds his hands our surrendering "How's Marvel?"

"Black eye, couple bruises, nothing major,"

"And dare I ask about Peeta?"

"No-" Clove is cut off by Marvel grabbing the phone

"Broken nose, broken wrist and a couple bruises to his pretty little face," i don't say anything i just pass the phone back to Cato and he abruptly ends the call.

"You hungry?" he asks and I nod.

* * *

I'm sat at home having a night in with my friends; Clove, Cato and Marvel. As stupid as it sounds we're having a sleepover.

"Stop apologising!" shouts Marvel throwing a pillow at me but i avoid it

"S-" i stop myself

"Thank you," he says folding his arms and turning back to the movie with a mouthful of popcorn. The doorbell ring.

"I'll be back in a sec," i say twisting my hair into a messy bun and hopping down the stairs. I open the door and find Gale leaning against the wood of the doorframe

"I heard about Peeta," he says

"How?" i ask confused

"Have you been on Facebook? In fact have you looked at your phone?"

"No... why?"

"You and Peeta Mellark are like the biggest thing the school has ever seen!"

"Oh god."

"Thank God your friend punched the living crap out of him else I might have had to!" i chuckle and place a loose strand of hair behind my ear "How are things?"

"Good, now anyways, Clove, Cato and Marvel are upstairs. We were watching a movie,"

"Cool, how's the band?"

"We've lost our drummer after the little incident today..."

"Sucks for you,"

"Tell me about it!" i say hitting my head against his shoulder "And we're performing in that assembly next week! The main beat comes from a frickin' drum and the song will suck if we don't have one!"

"Calm down," he says holding me by the shoulders arms length apart "I've just found you the perfect drummer," he smirks

"Who?" asks Clove from behind me, Gale drops his hands from my shoulders and Clove comes and stands next to me "Who's this 'perfect drummer'?"

"Me." he says with the cheekiest grin ever.

This might even work.

* * *

Gale stays over and we hang out in my room, i couldn't help but feel a little tension between Cato and Gale. Marvel even threatened Gale and i quote-

_"If you try anything you'll end up worse than Mellark,"_

He was deadly serious and that was... weird?

We watch the rest of the movie just generally hanging out, which included Clove and I throwing popcorn at Marvel when he said that Alexander Ludwig was just another pompous jerk.

Eventually we all fall asleep, in my room. Cato laid next to me on the bed. Marvel, Clove and Gale across the floor. Gale definitely was no Peeta but he could take his place in our little friendship group.

I was beginning to trust him again.

I woke up in the morning, it was around eight. My head was resting on Cato's elbow which was bent so it could act as i pillow. I raised my head slightly and I was met by ice blue eyes.

"Morning beautiful," he whispers and I roll my eyes "What you are!"

"No, shut up," I blush

"How did you sleep?"

"Great actually," i smile, then i realise how close our faces are. Our noses are practically touching. Cato seems to notice too and we both blush. "What happens now?" i ask

"Well I would love it if we did it again sometime,"

"Did what?"

"This," he said leaning forward, closing the gap between us. His ice tamed my fire in an amazing battle for dominance which looked like a graceful dance at the ballet.

"FINALLY!" we snapped apart and saw Clove clapping her hands together. Marvel looks up from his pillow, smiles, then flops back into it face first.

I don't care who's watching, i just kiss him again.

What is this boy doing to me?

* * *

Sorry for the shortness, hah like me then! Anyways you know what to do now! I will try to update tomorrow! :*


	21. Chapter 21

Hey guys thanks for the response for the next chapter i need at least seven reviews ;) keep up the good work :) Anyways I probably wont be able to update until Sunday or possibly Saturday nigh cause I'm real busy this weekend so get reviewing!

BTW I don't own the song in the chapter, it's from Lemonade Mouth just saying!

- Court x

* * *

Chapter Twenty One

Ok, so Gale was an awesome drummer, he was better than Peeta. He knew what to do before I even gave him the beat and he made it better which was pretty damn awesome. But we only had a week left to practice seeing as the bullying awareness assembly was a mere five days away.

Monday- practice

Tuesday- practice

Wednesday- practice

Thursday- practice

Friday- performance

Ok, so we're all scared and nervous. After all Snow's going to be there and I'm still debating whether to where a short sleeve top but if I don't that would send the wrong message to my fans. The song I wrote is different to the others it's more up beat and friendly you could say. The other's liked it which gives me the thumbs up, if they don't like it then they sure as hell would tell me.

The week was harsh with practice but if these guys weren't my friends I don't think I would have lived through it.

"Hey Katniss," said Gale giving me a quick hug before walking out back to the music shed

"Gale's here," i say leading him through

"Finally!" says Clove "We've been waiting half an hour!"

"You've been saying that a lot lately," i say and Clove smirks

"Because you and Cato are finally together!" she high fives Marvel and Cato comes over to me and kisses my cheek

"Sorry, guess you wont want to know what I heard then?" says Gale setting his back down

"What d'ya hear?" Clove eyes him suspiciously

"Nope, not telling," says Gale walking over to the drum kit

"TELL US!" we all shout

"Fine, fine, there are gonna be some people from recording companies there!"

"Holy crap!" says Clove

"Wow..." says Marvel while both Cato and I stay silent

"You're songs could be heard all over the world Katniss!" squeals Clove, Cato looks at me waiting for me to say something

"There's only one problem," I say "I don't want everyone to hear my songs,"

"Why not?" asks Marvel walking over leaving his Coca-Cola on the table

"People out there are judgemental, they judge you for the smallest of things and it could ruin our friendship," I say

"You sound like you've done this before..." says Marvel

"Course she has!" says Clove "Her dad was in the band District 12,"

"That's why he sounded familiar!" said Marvel clicking his fingers

"The band went to ruin was the smallest of rumours broke out, I was there when my dad would come home angry, out there things tear you apart," I say

"Look at me Kat," says Cato lifting my head to look at me "We will always be friends no matter what happens. Don't you see, after all this crap we've been through, we are all pretty much here, we just had to cut out the loose link," he says "Am I right?"

"You're right," I say and he give me a hug which ends up to be a group hug with Marvel shouting at the top of his voice

"GROUP HUG BITCHES!"

After Clove and Marvel decided to stay friends he has gotten camper than ever.

God save us.

* * *

The week rushes by so quickly the next thing I know is that we are waiting to be called up on stage by Snow. I'm shaking. Cato feels it and holds my hand.

"We can do this," chants Marvel before we put our hands in the middle "Get Lost on three?" we all put our hands in the middle "One, two, three,"

"GET LOST!" we all shout then laugh

"The school band Lost has decided to play an original song written by... Katniss Everdeen? Called Breakthrough?" he sounds like he's questioning me being here. Doing this. But I don't care.

We step out on the stage as Snow gives me a glare before walking off stage.

"Hey guys!" says Marvel into his microphone "Since you have last seen us at the Halloween bash, there have been some changes..." I notice Peeta sitting angrily in the audience, as if waiting for it to be over, he stares straight at me but I ignore him, he has a definite broken nose and a cast on his wrist, signed by a couple people "We now have a new drummer! Please welcome Gale Hawthorne," there are a couple woo's from the crowd but other than that they stay silent

"Our very own Katniss Everdeen wrote this song," continues Clove "This song is about taking an opportunity and not caring what happens, it's called Breakthrough,"

Katniss **_Clove _****All**

Oooh yeah, mmmm  
Breakthrough

_**Up, down, spinnin' all around**_  
_**Fly high, falling to the ground**_  
_**Sometimes dreams can feel so far away**_

Time keeps skippin' out a beat  
Left, right, trippin' on your feet  
Life is like a string of cloudy days

_**Sometimes it's raisin' your voice**_  
_**Sometimes it's makin' some noise**_  
_**Sometimes it's proving to the world it was wrong**_  
Whenever you can't see the light  
Whenever there's no end in sight  
Keep on, keep on moving on  
Keep on moving on

**Here comes a breakthrough**  
**Here comes a day**  
**Here comes a moment that you gotta go for it**  
**So don't let it get away**  
**It's all a breakthrough**  
**Just turn the page**  
**Cause everyday I'm getting closer**  
**Life is just a rollercoaster**

I dance with Marvel and Clove like a complete utter idiot whilst singing which earnt a few laughs from the audience

**_Shake it, till you make it_**  
**_Till you breaking on through_**  
**_Don't stop till you breaking on through_**  
**_Shake it, till you make it_**  
**_Till you breaking on through_**  
**_Don't stop till you breaking on through_**

Stop, still, take another breath  
Road block, move it to the left  
Get around whatever's in your way

**_Heartbreak, pick up all the pieces_**  
**_Don't stop dancin' in the bleachers_**  
**_It's gonna be your turn to play_**  
**_Gonna be your turn to play_**

Sometimes it's raisin' your voice  
Sometimes it's makin' some noise  
Sometimes it's provin' to the world it was wrong  
_**Whenever you can't see the light**_  
_**Whenever there's no end in sight**_  
_**Keep on, keep on movin' on**_  
_**Keep on movin' on**_

At this point Gale and I are head banging to the beat whilst we sing and he plays the drums.

**Here comes a breakthrough**  
**Here comes a day**  
**Here comes a moment that you gotta go for it**  
**So don't let it get away**  
**It's all about a breakthrough**  
**Just turn the page**  
**Cause everyday I'm getting closer**  
**Life is just a rollercoaster**

**_You can see it in the blind sight_**  
**_Movin' through the limelight_**  
**_Groovin' to the music imma use it when the time's right_**  
**_Hoping I can do it through the shadows, I can shine bright_**  
**_Usually in life there's one shot, this is on_**  
listen To the rhythm we given and it will make you  
Start pushin' the barriers and it will take you  
wherever it is you wanna go, never too late to  
Keep pushing till you breakthrough

_**Sometimes it's raisin' your voice**_  
_**Sometimes it's makin' some noise**_  
_**Sometimes it's provin' to the world it was wrong**_  
Whenever you can't see the light  
Whenever there's no end in sight  
Keep on, keep on movin' on  
Keep on movin' on

Clove and I are bouncing up and down at this point do the dance moves we choreograph, Cato and Marvel do the same whilst Gale continues with the beat on his drums.

**Here comes a breakthrough**  
**Here comes a day**  
**Here comes a moment that you gotta go for it**  
**So don't let it get away**  
**It's all about a breakthrough**  
**Just turn the page**  
**Cause everyday I'm getting closer**  
**Life is just a rollercoaster**

I dance next to Cato and he plays his electric guitar perfectly whilst looking at me. I turn to move away and he kisses my cheek, there are a few aww's from the crowd but we continue. Everyone in the hall is dancing, everyone except Peeta and Snow.

**Shake it, till you make it**  
**Till you breaking on through**  
**Don't stop till you breaking on through**  
**Shake it, till you make it**  
**Till you breaking on through**  
**Don't stop till you breaking on through**  
**Shake it, till you make it**  
**Till you breaking on through**  
**Don't stop till you breaking on through**  
**Shake it, till you make it**  
**Till you breaking on through**  
**Don't stop**  
Here comes a breakthrough!

I finish leaving the crowd of teenagers and some teachers cheering, I then notice the chairs at the back of the hall filled with people that I didn't know. The Music Producers. Peeta sits angrily, now talking to Glimmer but she disagrees with him, probably because of Gale... I roll my eyes as Snow takes the stage and we lead off.

"Celebratory pizza at Kat's?" asks Marvel we all turn to look at each other to check answers

"Ah!" says a man in a suit "I am Haymitch Abernathy, music producer at mockingjay records, I believe that right here we have a group of five extraordinary teenagers that the world would just eat up," he smirks, is he suggesting what I think he's suggesting?

"Here's my card, meet me Sunday at 11am at the studio for... a talk," and with that he left.

Did he just give us a recording contract?


	22. Chapter 22

Ok, bitch time. Cut the cussing? Nah mate. It's part of the character to cuss, don't like it then don't read simple as.

Anyways thanks for the reviews, i got back earlier than originally thought so yeah, here i am! Chapter twenty two! Wow! Oh and brownie points for those who time the time to look up what the meanings of the comments on the video are!

- Court x

* * *

Chapter Twenty Two

"Oh my frickin' God!" said Marvel holding the card in his hands as we continue to eat our pizza, something about that name of Haymitch Abernathy that reminded me of something, i just couldn't put my finger on it...

"What do you think he wants to talk about?" i ask chomping on my pizza

"Come on genius! He wants to give us a recording contract! Duh!" says Clove rolling her eyes

"Actually we don't know that, he might just want my song for some other artist," i say

"Shut up, he wants _you_!" says Cato smirking at me

"Are you guys ganging up on me?" i pout

"Just eat your pizza," says Marvel slurping from his mug that i bought him for Christmas, he insists that he keeps it here. I do as I am told and I continue to eat my pizza whilst watching the movie.

* * *

"Do you think this is the right place?" gulps Marvel

"No that's why it says Mockingjay studios in big letters on that sign as we came in!" says Clove sarcastically hitting the back of his head, Marvel pouts at her and she sticks her tongue out. I roll my eyes.

"They should be going out," whispers Gale

"They decided to stay friends," i whisper back he shrugs and we walk over to reception

"How may I help you?" asks a very feminine looking man from behind the desk

"Um... we're here to see Mr Abernathy, he said to be here at eleven..." says Cato

"Oh so you're that band he was talking about!" he says as he clicks his fingers "I can't believe how many people have watched the video of your performance!"

"Video?" we all say together

"Didn't you know?" he asks and we all shake our heads, he types something into his computer and we all gather round it, he plays the video of our performance and I look at the views count. OVER ONE MILLION VIEWS and 99% liked it.

I turn to the others and they looked as shocked as I did.

I hear Clove mutter the words 'holy shit' whilst Marvel looks like he's about to faint. The man behind the counter scrolls down the page and shows us the comments.

_**OMG this is amazing! I want this on my iPod like now!**_

_**So catchy!**_

_**Katniss and Cato**_** forever!** Cato smirks at me and i roll my eyes

_**Is Marvel gay? I laugh at that one and Marvel slaps my arm**_

_**neue Lieblingsband!**_

_**Wasn't she going out with Peeta last week? Eh, it's good music anyways!**_

_**Dying!**_

_**Me gusta mucho esta canción**_

_**nan renmen ak Katniss Everdeen**_

_**Est-ce juste moi, ou sont Katniss et de Clove comme méga sexy?**_

_**Katniss Everdeen is so inspiring! I can't believe she used to cut!**_

I gulp as I read that last comment and I feel Clove's hand in mine and Cato's arm around my shoulders.

"You are an icon for teenagers out there," says the man behind the desk

"Thanks," i somewhat mutter

"Anyways, Old Mitch is on floor six, second door on the right, can't miss it," he smiles. Then it hits me. I know why his name rang a bell and it stung like a trackerjacker sting. We thank the guy behind the desk and get into the elevator.

"Wow, worldwide already then?" says Clove

"Yeah," i say still in shock

"Ignore that last comment, you will be getting A LOT of attention from boys," says Marvel I just roll my eyes

"No I won't," i argue

"Didn't you see that comment?" asks Cato

"What comment?"

"The French one!"

"And you expect me to be able to translate because...?"

"French is one of our non-droppable subjects for GCSE!"

"Well I dropped it,"

"How?" asks Marvel, stunned and annoyed

"Dearest Granddaddy," i answer and he laughs whilst shaking his head "Anyways what did this comment say?"

"It said, _is it just me or are Katniss and Clove mega sexy?_, it got three hundred thousand or so likes," says Cato reciting the comment

"What's wrong with that?" i ask high fiving Clove

"It means that boys will want to date you," says Gale in disgust

"I'm fine as I am thanks," i say kissing Cato on the cheek

"Oh my good lord of Lancaster Library," says Clove looking at her phone

"What?" we all ask

"Check your twitter and Facebook, like now!"

We all do so and find out that we now have hundreds of thousands of followers on twitter, hundreds of thousands of friend requests and follows on Facebook and a couple notifications on twitter where we were trending for two hours.

"Oh my god," i say

"We're famous," says Marvel as the elevator dings and the doors opened. We walk down the hall still in a bit of shock and knock on the door. It opens to reveal Haymitch Abernathy.

"Ah, I see you finally got past reception."

* * *

We sit in his office whilst he goes to answer some important phone call. It's very formal and none of us can seem to be able to actually sit down...

"So my budding young musicians," says Mr Abernathy entering the room "I see you have been trending on twitter but somehow have not actually been attacked in the street... how?"

"The only thing they would attack is One Direction," i comment

"Ugh, i don't like them," comments Haymitch

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST THEM?" screeches Marvel and we all laugh except me

"Dude, you're so gay!" laughs Gale

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are-"

"Shut up!" i shout at them "Mr Abernathy what do you want us here for?" i ask bluntly

"To sign your contract," he smirks "Now sweetheart we you do me the honour of telling me your names?"

"... The one you think is most likely to be gay is Marvel Quaid, the one he argued with is Gale Hawthorne, the girl sitting next to me Clove Fuhrman be careful what you say she's handy with a knife and a lipstick and that leaves Cato. He's strong, independent and you better not fuck around with him because he is one of the best people you'll ever meet."

"And what about you?"

"I'm Katniss Everdeen and I know who you are."

* * *

Everyone looks at me with eyes wide.

"So your the prodigal daughter, I thought he had two..." he says

"He did, she's more interesting in medicine, not that you'd care,"

"Ben was always stubborn,"

"Well you would know,"

"Katniss," hissed Clove

"She's right,"

"Damn right I am, you guys haven't heard of the famous Haymitch Abernathy have you?" they shook their heads "He sung with my dad in the band District Twelve, he got in trouble with this loan shark, he didn't pay his money back and he had even begged my father for money. My dad took it to them. But they didn't want money anymore and it was all his-" i point my finger accusingly "-fault."

Cato pulls me into his arms and holds me there before I pull away.

"I'm sick of this." i say before briskly walking out the room. I hop in the elevator and go to the roof.

When I get there I find another man, looks like the same age as Haymitch, well there or abouts.

"What's a young girl like you doing up on the roof?" he asks taking a puff of his cigarette, i know who this man is

"Same as you are, taking a smoke," i say pulling a cigarette out my bag and lighting it. I hadn't had one of these in ages.

"No you don't," he says taking it from me and stubbing it out with his foot "Ben wouldn't have wanted to see you do that, his innocent little daughter and all,"

"How'd you guess?"

"Take a look at yourself, you look just like him," i sigh "What you doing here anyway?"

"Haymitch wants to sign me,"

"Ah," he says, he understands "He doesn't drink anymore,"

"What difference does that make?" i spit

"That way why he needed the loan from that bloke, he drank too much. After Ben passed he couldn't even look at a bottle the same way again, he was determined to find one of his daughters but you moved, he wanted to apologise, Old Mitch is stubborn too, just like your father. He wants you to be happy. He knows what the business does to you, and if he thinks you're ready for it, you're ready for it."

"Well I've definitely fucked it up then, storming out of there wouldn't do any good,"

"He will understand that, after all he too believes that he is the reason that your father died,"

"Katniss?" i turn to see Cato and Haymitch at the top of the roof

"I guess I gotta go," i say and he nods

"Take care Katniss,"

"You too Plutarch," i say before walking towards Haymitch and Cato.

"What the hell where you thinking? Talking to a stranger like that!" hisses Haymitch as we get in the elevator

"But he wasn't a stranger was he Haymitch? He was one of my father's best friends! And yours!"

"But why were you talking to him?"

"He told me things,"

"No doubt saying something awful about me and bigging up your father as per usual," he spits

"No, actually," he just rolls his eyes and walks out the elevator and back to his office leaving me and Cato

"What?" i ask catching Cato stare at me

"Shouldn't i be asking you that?" he asks calmly

"You're right, sorry, it's just family stuff i suppose,"

"Tell me?"

"Not now, later?" he nods and takes my hand

"Don't ever think that I would leave you over something like this," i nod and he hugs me

"Thank you," i whisper.

* * *

"Right now our little firecracker has been dealt with," says Haymitch rubbing his hands together, i just fold my arms over my chest "I want you to sign a contract," he says placing a piece of paper in front of us. Slowly we each take the black biro and sign on the dotted line. "Now next Sunday evening you will be having an interview with Caesar Flickerman about your new claim to fame and your upcoming album-"

"Wait album!" says Clove "What upcoming album?"

"We're going to make a new album," he smirks

"Katniss can't write ten new songs in a week!" protests Cato, he was the one who helped me after all

"I'm not saying that she has to, but you basically just have to say that you are beginning to make a new album which we will do," he turns to look at his watch "Hmm... time for lunch, care to talk about this more?" he asks and we all nod "I'll be down in a minute, just make your way down to reception," we all lead out, I get to the door last

"Oh and Katniss," i turn to look at him "Your father would be proud."


	23. Chapter 23

This could be one of the last chapters! Dun dun deeeeeeer! Anyways I understand that you guys haven't been up and about my little story here after I said that I might not be so active this weekend, don't forget to review! These will be the beginnings of drama during this chapter!

- Court x

* * *

Chapter Twenty Three

The lunch was mainly about discussing the whole interview business, i firmly kept my mouth shut. I had had enough drama for one day and now all we needed to do was wait for the interview which could make or break our career.

Our Facebook and Twitter accounts had been bombarded by the likes of both the male and female sides of world, as you had probably guessed our Breakthrough video was nearing the top of the most ever viewed video.

"Just got another one Kat," says Clove looking at my phone, i rolled my eyes. Somehow people had been managing to get my phone number. It was annoying

"What's it say this time?" i moan, taking a bite of a crunchy carrot stick. It was just Clove and I at the table, the boys had a detention for failing to show up to one of their classes. Classy.

"Waiting for your next performance,"

"Who's it from this time?"

"Just another anonymous one,"

"Ugh," i groan taking another chunk out of my carrot stick "I'm changing the number this weekend, this is driving me insane,"

"Thank god they don't know mine,"

"Lucky." i say jabbing the air with my carrot stick. The phone beeps again and i groan loudly.

"You are totally-" she's cuts off by the boys walking in. Gale and Marvel plonk down next to Clove and Cat slides in next to me kissing me on the cheek

"She's totally what?" asks Cato

"Err..." stutters Clove

"Yeah what does it say?" i ask curious, she shakes her head but Marvel pulls my phone from her grasp and reads aloud the text

"You are totally sexy from behind," he reads before sniggering. I bolt around and find several boys looking at me. Oh god.

"Perverts," i mutter

"That's not it," says Marvel, i raise my eyebrow at him to ask why "It's from Peeta,"

"WHY?!" i moan hitting my head against the table. Cato jabs me in the ribs where i am most ticklish and I almost fall off the seat "I am not responsible for my actions if you dare to tickle me Mr Ludwig," he rolls his eyes and laughs at me, i take a bite from another carrot stick

"Why is that idiot texting you?" asks Gale

"Obviously because of our new found fame," i say sarcastically

"Why does he even have your number?" he asks

"Because we _were_ friends once, ya know?" he sighs

"You know that Caesar Flickerman dude will pick up on this," he says

"I know, and unfortunately I'll have to talk about it..." i groan

"You're not gonna say about the whole drunk sex thing are you?" asks Clove suddenly worried

"No. God no. It's bad enough that we'll be on live TV,"

"Well he technically raped you..." says Marvel

"I was obviously willing," i say blushing

"But he abused you when you didn't have any control of what you were doing," Cato says

"My fault that I got drunk," i say now sipping my chocolate milk. The conversation soon dies down and we turn to talking about the interview. In the end I turn my phone off to stop the annoying texts.

* * *

It's the day of the interview and I'm wearing some denim shorts, a My Chemical Romance band t-shirt, my purple hoodie, my converse and of course my hair is in it's usual braid. Clove even convinced me to wear eyeliner.

I was under strict rules that i couldn't where my 'whore' crop top from Haymitch, ever the father figure. Apparently wearing the word 'whore' in big white letters on live TV was not appropriate...

We were led out onto the stage on a big sofa for us. I sat in the middle of Gale and Cato whilst Clove and Marvel sat behind the sofa on tall stools. Caesar on the other hand had a large chair for himself.

"You look nice," whispered Cato

"Not so bad yourself," i smirk, he was wear a black pair of jeans with a white shirt and light blue hoodie

"Anymore texts from Mellark?"

"Nope, Haymitch personally went to the phone shop himself and made sure that my new number would not be broadcasted to the world,"

"So he paid off the dude at the counter?"

"Pretty much," we both laughed and Caesar Flickerman walked on stage to take his seat, he was wearing a new fashion designed by someone foreign designer that all girls had heard of, except me. His hair was dyed blue to match his outfit and he had one of the most orange spray tans which made us all look like we hadn't ever seen the sun.

The man with camera started counting down from ten and on two he used his fingers. The red light appeared signally that we were live and the theme tune for the show played.

"Good morning and welcome to the show," smiled Caesar, it was a fake smile most likely filled with all the Botox money could buy "Today we have the pleasure of meeting the internet phenomenon Lost!" he audience cheered. Heck it was a big audience. "Now we know them as the brilliant Gale Hawthorne on drums-" Gale smiled and did a little salute "-Clove Fuhrman-" Clove winked at the camera, i could see an intern blush "-Marvel Quaid-" Marvel waved "-Cato Ludwig-" Cato simply gave them an award winning smile "-and the lovely singing sensation and songwriter Katniss Everdeen!" i smiled lightly and Caesar got down to asking questions

"So how did this all come about?" he asked

"Well for starters," begins Clove "Katniss and I were best friends, a load of things happened between then and the music lesson that kinda kick started it all, and voila! We got a band!"

"So I hear that you, Miss Everdeen and Mr Hawthorne, were actually an item at the time," oh god.

"We were," says Gale "But we decided that we were better off being friends," that wasn't the whole story, Caesar knew it, it was just a touchy subject to him but to me it was like i was a firecracker, as Haymitch had already said, and the fuse had already been lit.

"That's a shame," pouts Caesar "Ok, so tell me, Katniss, how do you come up with these frankly amazing songs?" he was back to his award winning smile, ugh, i would never have plastic surgery. I could feel everyone's eyes on me.

"I take things that I wrote in my journal and mix them up a bit, see how they would work out with some basic chords i know then try them out with these guys, then we have something to work on and make better," i say quite comfortably

"You should see some of the stuff she comes up with!" says Marvel "It's genius!" the crowd laughs at him

"So what's coming up with you? What's happening in the world of music for you?"

"Well," says Cato "We have recently been signed up to Mockingjay record by Mr Haymitch Abernathy,"

"I believe he was a close friend of yours, Katniss," says Caesar

"Oh no, not really. I didn't really know him that well," i lie, i knew more than what his family knew "He was in a band called District Twelve with my dad, I didn't really get to talk to him,"

"Apologies," he says understanding my father's death, it came as a big shock to the celebrity world "Now away from that matter, I believe that you have an upcoming album?"

"Yeah," says Clove "At the moment it's just a work in progress but we are definitely putting one out there,"

"Do you have a name yet?" he asks

"No, not yet we still have to start writing the songs," laughs Marvel and the audience laughs with him

"Now I have to ask, this has been the centre of the gossip for the past couple weeks or so... it has come to my attention that Katniss, you used to self harm?"

"I-err-"

"You don't have to tell them," says a worried looking Cato

"It's fine," i whisper back "Yeah, I did and it's not exactly something I'm proud of, but I'm glad I did it," the crowd gasps

"What do you mean?"

"Well for starters I wouldn't have hung out with some of the amazing people sitting on the stage next to me and I wouldn't have started a band because I wouldn't have written any songs,"

"As they say, the writer is only as good as their experiences," says Clove trying to lift the mood

"Now off that rather depressing subject, let's talk about something very funny!" he crowd cheers slightly "I believe that you two-" he says to me and Marvel "-have some very... special mugs?"

"Well um... I used to tease Marvie over here, because of a certain comment he said," the crowd laughs "So basically he'd always tell me that he wasn't gay and at Christmas he gave me a MARVEL IS NOT GAY mug whilst he has a MRAVEL'S MARVELLOUS mug with all our faces' on it because he wanted to call the band that," the crowd laughs

"Oh Kitty," laughs Marvel

"Right now he have to go to break and we will be back with the band Lost and a mystery guest-"

"IS IT ONE DIRECTION?" screeches Marvel and we all laugh

"No Marvel, it's not one direction, see you after the break," chuckles Caesar and the red light goes off. Some women come around and touch up our make-up whilst Marvel tries to compose himself after his little outburst.

"We're back with me Caesar Flickerman and the band Lost, now for our mystery guest. There has been a lot of speculation about him and the band, so drum roll please... our special guest is Peeta Mellark,"

Oh good god.


	24. Chapter 24

Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews! This is my highest reviewed story so far ;) glad you like it, sorry i was a bit slow today i just HAD to write down my idea for my next story which is kinda Awkward. meets the Hunger Games! But it's way awkwarder than Awkward. Is it just me or had the new season three got dramatic and not awkward?

Anyways enough with my ranting here's your next chapter!

-Court x

P.S I don't own the song Skyscraper, all right of that to Demi Lovato and I don't own Cups by Anna Kendrick

* * *

Chapter Twenty Four

Peeta? What was Peeta doing here? Oh good god there's going to be dating questions! I just hope Peeta keeps his mouth shut...

"Welcome to the show Peeta," says Caesar as Peeta rather forcefully scoots between Cato and I

"Glad to be here," he said flashing an award winning smile.

_Do not let him take over, you can do this concentrate Katniss!_

"So Peeta, I heard that up until a couple weeks ago you and Katniss were dating, is it true?" why are my worst fears becoming true? Why do I jinx everything?

"It's true, we went out for a couple days," he smiles

"What went wrong?" asks Caesar to Peeta... HELLO STILL HERE?!

"I guess it was just difference of opinion," he smiles

"Difference of opinion my ass," says Clove. Oh god Clove, shut up! Peeta turns to glare at Clove.

"What was that Clove?" asks Caesar

"Peeta's lying," she says confidently, in my head I am begging for her to shut up, the audience looks astonished by her outburst

"And why would he do that?" asks Caesar oblivious

"Because he's a manipulative bitch that can't control what he's got in his pants," says Clove and the audience gasps

"May I remind you that we are on live television," says Caesar

"Clove, calm down," i warn "I'm not going into this," i say quietly

"Sorry," apologises Clove sweetly but it is still obvious how aggravated she is

"So Katniss who broke up with who?"

"I broke up with him," i blush

"Why would that be?"

"Peeta's more of a friend than anything and it would be kind of awkward for us to be in a band together and see each other everyday if we broke up on worse circumstances,"

"It true," says Peeta with his award winning smile

"But Peeta isn't in the band anymore..." says Caesar digging for a story

"I left, on my choice. Music isn't my thing, it's a very boring process," he moans

"Well personally I enjoy hanging out at Katniss' house and eating pizza, watching moving, rehearsing and eating more pizza," says Marvel

"Me too," says Cato and Clove, the audience laughs

"Everybody is entitled to their own opinion... now Katniss, there's a rumour that you are Cato are what? An item? Surely that's against everything you just said!" he says it with a laugh to make it sound offence

"I guess you just can't help who you fall in love with," answers Cato and the crowd coos. My head snaps towards him

"Uh oh!" taunts Peeta "Someone said the L word,"

"Can we talk about this later?" i whisper

"Why?" says Cato loudly "I want everyone to know that I'm in love with you Katniss Everdeen!" it's followed by a few aww's from the audience

"What will she say now?" continues Peeta sarcastically "Will she say it back or not? Will she love the freak that cuts or will she go back to the handsome blonde baker she once went out with?"

"Peeta that's enough." i say "I've had enough of you, taking the mick, for starters it was just calling me words like whore and stupid. Did you know that you were one of the reasons why I cut?!" im practically shouting now, what makes things worse is that it's all true "Cato's not a freak he's one of the kindest people i know and I can tell him _anything_. We can go from swearing at each other one minute to laughing the next then crying about our past. Oh and one more thing," i say turning to Cato "I fucking love you too," with that he brings his lips down on my and the audience roars an applause

"That brings us to the end of my very dramatic show," says Caesar "Thank you Katniss Everdeen for your very fiery tongue and telling us what really goes on when you're a teenager. With that Lost are going to sing a new song which might be appearing on their next album?"

We make our way to the stage.

**Katniss **Clove _All_

**Skies are crying, I am watching**  
** Catching tear drops in my hands**  
** Only silence as it's ending**  
** Like we never had a chance**  
** Do you have to make me feel like**  
** There's nothing left of me?**  
_  
You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
_Like a skyscraper_  
_**Like a skyscraper**

As the smoke clears, I awaken  
And untangle you from me  
Would it make you feel better  
To watch me while I bleed?  
All my windows still are broken  
But I'm standing on my feet

_You can take everything I have_  
_You can break everything I am_  
_Like I'm made of glass_  
_Like I'm made of paper_  
_Go on and try to tear me down_  
_I will be rising from the ground_

**Like a skyscraper**_  
_Like a skyscraper

**Go run, run, run**  
** I'm gonna stay right here,**  
** Watch you disappear**  
** Yeah, oh**  
Go run, run, run  
Yeah, it's a long way down  
But I am closer to the clouds up here

** You can take everything I have**  
** You can break everything I am**  
** Like I'm made of glass**  
** Like I'm made of paper**  
** Oh Oh**  
** Go on and try to tear me down**  
** I will be rising from the ground**  
** Like a skyscraper**  
** Like a skyscraper**

Like a skyscraper**Like a skyscraper**  
** Like a skyscraper**

With that Caesar says good night and the show ends.

"Lovely song you got there," smirks Peeta

"Piss off Peeta," i say before walking away to catch up with the others.

* * *

"Good job, sweetheart," smirks Haymitch

"Yeah you handled that well," smiled Clove, Cato casually put his arm around me

"I can't believe you said it," he says "In a good way," he winks

"We were all thinking," says Marvel

"Pizza at mine anyone?" that was followed by a bunch of yes-es including Haymitch which i was shocked about.

Once at mine we ate the pizza whilst discussing our next move.

"So you need to write songs," says Haymitch pointing at me

"I know... I've actually got one made already other than Skyscraper

"Sing it, now," he insists

"Fine," i say

_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_  
_ Two bottle whiskey for the way_  
_ And I sure would like some sweet company_  
_ And I'm leaving tomorrow. What d'you say?_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my hair_  
_ You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_ I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_  
_ The one with the prettiest of views_  
_ It's got mountains, it's got rivers_  
_ It's got sights to give you shivers_  
_ But it sure would be prettier with you_

_ When I'm gone, when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my walk_  
_ You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh_  
_ You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

They clapped.

"When did you write that?" asks Cato

"When you were pissed at me for 'going out with Peeta'," he nods and eats some pizza

"Anyways..." says Haymitch "That has to go on the album along with Skyscraper, it just needs a name..."

"Round one." i say

"Huh?" says Haymitch

"The heart, the human heart is fragile, why d'ya think I write songs? So I patch it up with the help of the few guitar lessons I had with my day, only acoustic mind, and get ready for the fight with me and my journal. Ding ding round one!" i explain

"I didn't know you played guitar!" squeals Clove

"No one knew but him, Prim did i think but she was too busy trying to help baby birds," i smirk at the old memory

"Round one it is," says Haymitch.

Could this be the start of something special?


	25. Chapter 25

Hey guys thanks for the reviews but I would like to dedicate this chapter to one of my closest friends Beth who is real good to me. Thanks Beth x Anyways here's chapter twenty five. WORK WORK WORK WORK WORKING ON MY SHIT!

Need some inspiration and for some extra info I do not own the song No Interest by Nina Nesbitt

-Court x

p.s sorry for the shortness :L

* * *

Chapter Twenty Five

"Haymitch, what are we doing at the old boxing club?" asks Clove as we step in

"Your album is going to be called Round One correct?" he says

"Yes..." says Clove

"This is where we are shooting the cover for your album and some shots for the booklet on the inside with the lyrics,"

"Cool idea," i say climbing into the ring and holding out my hand for Clove who takes it gladly to be helped up into the ring.

Once we have been beautified by the team which consisted of basically putting some black eyeliner on me and Clove for 'effect' and adding a bright coloured lipstick to our lips. Joy!

We are put into clothes, i am wearing my WHORE crop top with a black leather jacket with studs, studded leather boots and short black shorts. Clove is wearing a white ripped shirt with a black vest shirt underneath so that the ripped shirt isn't too revealing. She's also wearing leather studded boots and black skinny jeans. Cato's wearing a red hoodie unzipped with a white t-shirt underneath along with some black jeans and dub step converse. Marvel's wearing a black hat on the back of his head along with a white t-shirt, a black clip on tie, black ripped jeans and a denim waistcoat. Finally Gale is wearing a plain white V-neck and some scruffy denim jeans.

We get back into the ring and the photographer tells us to 'work our stuff' and 'strike a pose'

So i shove the red boxing gloves on my hands and pretend to do that thing the boxers do to protect and ready themselves for the upcoming fight. I stand in front of Cato and he laughs at me.

"Cato pull an angered pose!" shouts the photographer. Suddenly Cato goes stiff and pulls his brow down mechanically and stares at me our foreheads almost touching. Flashes go off. "BEAUTIFUL!" compliments the photographer. Cato rolls his eyes and he pulls my hands around his neck whilst he rests his hands on my waist

"You heard him, you're beautiful," he whispers

"Shut up," i say leaning forward. Just before our lips meet another flash signally a picture goes off and we pull apart. I roll my eyes at the photographer

"It was a good pose," shrugs the photographer, Cato just pouts

"Can't ruin my make up," i say fluttering my eyelashes and we both laugh

"GROUP PHOTO!" shouts the photographer and we jump. We walk towards the edge of the ring against the ropes. I kick one foot through the ropes and Clove smiles seductively at the camera. Cato winks and Gale and Marvel fish bump.

FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!

* * *

A couple days later after school we sit in Haymitch's office waiting for him to get back with the picture that need to be put in the booklet along with my song lyrics.

He comes into the office and holding out a book full of photos. He slaps it down on the table in front of me and everyone crowds around. We looks through the photos with smiles until we finish at the end of the scrap book.

"This is so cool," squeals Clove

"I can't believe they printed that one of me and Cato," i mutter

"That's what the fans will want," says Haymitch "Some goopy shit," i roll my eyes and we continue with the meeting, until it is time to reveal another new song I wrote.

_Sit on the bus and I get on the backseat  
With a hooded and a bottle of JD  
I'm throwing looks cause the baby's crying  
Wish the mother would stop denying them milk  
So I put on the vaccines  
Look out the window and I see you go past me  
You wave your hand and you shout out my name  
I would've called you if you hadn't fucked me off_

No interest in you, no interest at all  
There's nothing to lose, 'cause there's nothing at all  
No interest in you, no interest at all  
Cause there's nothing to lose, there's nothing at all  
Yeah I'm livid, yeah I'm livid, oh oh oh oh  
Yeah I'm livid, yeah I'm livid, oh oh oh oh

I get off the bus and I walk around George Street  
An old man in a hat playing violin  
Girls wearing Jack Wills and Abercrombie  
Stop asking me who I'm dating now  
Get a text from Claire and a Rachel  
Telling me that my ex tried to kiss them  
Last night we were at Revolution  
Had enough so I went to get some chips

No interest in you, no interest at all  
There's nothing to lose, 'cause there's nothing at all  
No interest in you, no interest at all  
Cause there's nothing to lose, there's nothing at all  
Yeah I'm livid, yeah I'm livid, oh oh oh oh  
Yeah I'm livid, yeah I'm livid, oh oh oh oh

Getting home late, found him standing at my front door  
There's no reason for him to be here at all  
Pushed past him, and he pulls out a rose  
Does he even really know me at all?  
I climb the stairs, I don't walk up my hallway  
He tries ringing and it goes to the answer phone  
Then he says that he's nothing left to say  
Except the fact that he's allergic to my dog

No interest in you, no interest at all  
There's nothing to lose, 'cause there's nothing at all  
No interest in you, no interest at all  
Cause there's nothing to lose, there's nothing at all  
Yeah I'm livid, yeah I'm livid, oh oh oh oh  
Yeah I'm livid, yeah I'm livid, oh oh oh oh

"I wrote that when Peeta forced me to go out with him,"

They clapped and I mock bowed

"It's going on it," says Haymitch and I give him a genuine smile then sit back down next to Cato "Anyway, the figures show..."

* * *

I sit in my room strumming my guitar trying to work out the melody for the next song when the doorbell rings. I rush downstairs to get the door.

"Hey Katniss,"

"Peeta?"


	26. Chapter 26

Hey guys thanks for the reviews and that! Wow! On chapter twenty six... this is ending soon... thirty chapters tops... BTW I don't own Ready or Not. Sorry in advance for the fluffiness

-Court x

* * *

Chapter Twenty Six

"Peeta?" i gasp "What are you doing here?"

"I want to apologise for earlier and when i forced up to go out with me,"

"Apology accepted," i say firmly

"Life is boring without your drama,"

"My drama?" i say offended

"Yes your drama, there's so much of it! The cutting, the mental hospital, the fake sex we had-"

"Wait, Woah! _Fake_ sex?"

"I ugh..."

"You lied! Oh my fucking god! You lied to me!"

"I can explain!"

"No need to jackass!" i said slamming the front door in his face. I run upstairs and grab my phone

"HOLY SHIT CLOVE! PEETA AND I DIDNT HAVE SEX!"

"Oh my god! That is good news!"

"Tell me about it!"

* * *

All ties had been cut off. Peeta's lies were totally gone and I began to feel some sort of happiness coming to me. I began to relax.

"Katniss!" squealed Marvel down the phone. I held it away from my ear as Clove rolled her eyes and closed her Chemistry textbook

"Shut up and tell me who got murdered," says Clove

"WE ARE GOING TO GO ON TOUR!"

It was a few weeks after our album had been released and everyone was loving it. Reporters were constantly outside our houses and trying to get to our famous music shed. However Effie managed to get some dude to sound proof the walls and she changed the code to the gate several times.

"Wait." i say opening the French doors that lead out onto the balcony "LOST HAVE JUST OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED THAT THEY ARE GOING ON TOUR."

"No need for twitter then," says Clove putting her phone down. I laugh and we finish our conversation with Marvel before heading back into the wonderful world of Chemistry. As it happened we released a song called Chemistry was Never the Problem and Clove was now constantly humming it whenever we entered or so much as talked about a chemistry lesson.

Apparently our music videos were amazing. Although Cato kept getting a load of hate for me always kissing his at the end of every video on the cheek. He would wipe the lipstick and the computer boffs would leave it saying Lost as the shot faded to blackness.

* * *

"WE ARE FREE BITCHES!" yells Marvel clinking his bottles with us

"And we're going on tour!" squeals Clove

"With some of the most amazing people in the world," i finish

"Cheers," we all says clinking our bottles together, still in our graduation robes.

FLASH!

Another photo for the scrapbook.

* * *

I grab my signature red microphone and head out on stage. It's pitch black but I somehow manage to find Clove and I lean my arm against her shoulder.

"Update twitter, now," she whispers. I pull out my phone, it's somehow connect to the screen up at the top above the stage

_Ready or not? #lostliveontour #lastshow_

The crowd screams and the lights flash up revealing us to the crowd. Cato winks at me and I swear like fifty girls on the front row pass out. I smirk and we start the song.

**Katniss **Clove _All_

**H-Hey H-Hey**  
**H-H-Hey (H-Hey)**  
**Oooooooooooooo****I'm the kinda girl who doesn't say a word,**  
**Who sits at the curb and waits for the world**  
**But I'm about to break out, about to break out**  
**I'm like a crook tonight**  
_  
_I caught you staring at me and I was thinking clearly  
Now I'm like a bee and I'm huntin' for the honey  
And I'm kinda shy but you're super fly yeah  
I could be your kryptonite

Like ohh ohh ohh  
Light my heart up baby like a match stick  
Ohh ohh ohh  
And hit the gas quick

Ready or not  
Here I come  
Where you at?  
The night is young  
In the crowd the music's loud but I will find you  
Ready or not  
Here I come  
I like your face  
Do you like my song?  
Just sing it la la la la la la and I'll find you

**Ready or not****_ (_**Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh**_)  
_****Ready or not**_ (_Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh)Hello my name is Clove  
Nice to meet you  
I think you're famous  
Where have I seen you?  
You'll be my William, I'll be your Kate  
Livin' like a fairytale  
We could have a palace right next to Oprah  
37 cars and a yacht down in Boca  
Take me away wherever you say  
Yeah we could be setting sail**Like ohh ohh ohh**  
**Light my heart up baby like a matchstick**  
**Ohh ohh ohh**  
**And hit the gas quick**

Ready or not  
Here I come  
Where you at?  
The night is young  
In the crowd the music's loud but I will find you  
Ready or not  
Here I come  
I like your face  
Do you like my song?  
Just sing it la la la la la la and I'll find you

**Ready or not **(Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh)_  
_**Ready or not, not **(Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh)**Ready or not here I come, here I come**  
**You're like a breath of fresh air in my lungs**  
**You and me dance from the night to the dawn**  
**Ready or not here I come, boy it's on**Ready or not here I come, here I come  
You're like a breath of fresh air in my lungs_  
_You and me dance from the night to the dawn  
Ready or not here I come, boy it's on  
_  
_**Ready or not**  
**Here I come**  
**Where you at?**  
**The night is young**  
**In the crowd the music's loud but I will find you**  
**Ready or not**  
**Here I come**  
**I like your face**  
**Do you like my song?**  
**Just sing it la la la la la la and I'll find you**  
_  
Ready or not (ready or not, you're like a breath of fresh air in my lungs)  
Ready or not (here I come, oh)  
Ready or not  
Ready or not  
Ready or not  
Ready or not  
Ready or not  
_Boombada Boombada Boombada_  
_**Ready or not**_!_

The ends and the crowd cheers. We play a few more songs and love the nice before Cato pipes up.

"Ok, even though I'm like half dead and drenched in sweat I need to say something!" he crowd quietens down "After graduation I would be stuck if it was for the music, I love every moment," he smiles "But without a special someone I wouldn't be here at all," he walks over to me

"Ew! You're sweaty!" i shout and end up laughing "Get on with it Muscles!" i says

"Katniss freaking Everdeen, I've know you for what feels like forever, a good forever, when in reality it's been around two years?"

"One year and three hundred and twenty two days," i correct

"I gotta ask my beautiful girlfriend a question," he says rallying the crowds. I turn to look at the twitter feeds

_omg too cute! #Cato&KatnissMoments_

_Is he doing what I think he's doing? #CatonissLove_

_TOO CUTE #Cato3Katniss_

I turn back to Cato

"Katniss Everdeen," he says getting down on one knee "Will you marry me?" the crowd chants say yes and Cato holds out the box, i type into my phone faster than I ever have before. Then as the beep saying that a band member had tweeted appeared on the scree

_Getting married. Words can't describe this feeling. CatoLudwig #CatoProposed!_


	27. Chapter 27

Hey guys! That was not the last chapter as you are now guessing! Duh! Oh and Katniss is dressed exactly like Jennifer Lawrence was at the Oscars 2013.

P.S There is one more chapter after this! You might just have to wait till Saturday/Sunday for it though! Sorry this one is so short!

- Court x

* * *

Chapter Twenty Seven

"You're getting married tomorrow!" shrieks Clove pushing through the front door. I close the door. Cato and I are currently living in a one bedroom luxurious apartment on the twelfth floor. Cato's at Marvel's for the night.

"Oops I guess I forgot!" i say sarcastically and she punches me lightly

"It was sweet that you asked Haymitch to give you away," she said already tucking into the jar of nutella from the cupboard

"Well he's like a father figure to me... normal people would have given up on me and my bullshit by now,"

"That's deep, especially for you,"

"Thanks," i say sarcastically "Did you bring them?"

"Oh yeah," she said slamming the DVDs down on the coffee table

"HUNGER GAMES MARATHON!" we shout. I grab my phone and connect to twitter.

_Hunger Games Marathon with Clovey :* can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow! #CloveAndHerNutella_

* * *

I slip into the dress and Clove pulls up the zip. Prim is waiting in the lounge with Mom. Yes my mother. Whilst I was out on tour she sorted things with Prim and Prim made me invite her as her plus one...

I was wearing barely any makeup just a little mascara and nude lip gloss. Natural. I am wearing a long white strapless dress which drapes across the floor. Clove cried when she saw me in it. I am also wearing white nail polish that is new, white earrings with a little blue in them. Because you can't see my feet under the dress i am wearing my old black converse, something old. And finally I borrowed Clove's hair pin to put my hair in a bun at the middle of the back of my head.

Clove on the other hand is wearing a beautiful red short dress that rests just above her knees, it has lace sleeves and she wearing red converse, to stand out like me. Her hair is in a loose side braid and she wears nude lip gloss and mascara like me.

"You look beautiful Kat," she whispers

"So do you," i say back

"Don't make me cry! I've only just reapplied my mascara!"

"You're such a girl!" i laugh. I see Clove go on twitter. My phone dings and I look at the notification from twitter.

_With the beautiful soon to be Mrs Ludwig #KatnissInHerWeddingDress_

* * *

I stand outside the church, i put my arm through Haymitch's. A couple flashes go off from reporters but they aren't allowed to post any pictures until after the wedding, so that Cato couldn't see the dress.

"You look beautiful," he whispers

"Thanks," i say

"When you came into my office two years ago i thought you were quiet-"

"Well you got that wrong!" i laugh

"Very. Happy Wedding day Girl on Fire," he smiles a rare smile and I hear the wedding music beginning and the doors open.

We walk down the aisle, I the end i see Cato. We continue. Everyone smiles. My maid of honour, Clove, and bridesmaid Prim follow behind. Haymitch lets go of my arm and sits down along with Prim and Clove.

"You look stunning," whispers Cato

"Not so bad yourself," i wink back

"I would have thought you'd be wearing heels," he states, i just shake my head. I lift the dress slightly revealing my converse, he chuckles "You can take the girl out of the rebellion but you can't take the rebellion out of the girl,"

The ceremony continues.

"Vows," says the priest

"Katniss," says Cato smiling a 1000 watt smile "One the first day i met you i knew you were different, special. I knew that you had your flaws and I had mine, now I love those flaws as if they were as good as the rest of you. I promise to love you forever and ever after. I promise to protect you even when you say you don't want protecting and I promise to always stay faithful, because Prim is too cute to get annoyed with me and I'm pretty sure you'd kick my ass if I hurt you," i laugh and nod as the spectators laugh too "I love you," he says slipping the ring on my finger

"Cato," i say "For starters you were just some weird kid that tried to become friends with me. You're such a dork," i say and he rolls his eyes the guests chuckle "I promise to love you even when I hate you and I promise to be faithful. I'm not good with words but I want you to know I love you. I will always love you, no matter what,"

"Love you too," he says as I slid the ring on his finger

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," with that cameras were going off and I swear Marvel was crying into Clove's shoulder whilst Finnick and Gale laughed at them.

I have good friends.

* * *

"Snaps," say Clove as we stand in the bathroom at the reception hall. We stand at the mirror and Clove snaps a picture. She taps away on her phone when mine dings.

"I long for pockets!" i say hitching up my dress revealing a make shift pocket i put on my thigh for my phone.

I look at the picture now captioned with-

_My best friend. God I love her. Her wedding day. Beautiful ladiees in the bathroom! Such posers! Gah, I love you Kat #TheReception_

I scroll through my feed and look at my 'fans' comments

_you look beautiful Katniss  
MarvelthekingbitchQuaid_

_can't believe Marvel cried!  
GaleHawthorne_

_look absolutely gorgeous, come out the bathroom :*  
CatoLudwig_

I roll my eyes at the screen and change my relationship status to married and change my name

_Mrs Katniss Ludwig_

I will never get tried of that.

* * *

"May I have this dance?" asks Cato

"You know I can't dance," i state

"Come on! It's mandatory!" he said pulling me to the dance floor.

The music is fast but we don't care. We stand with our foreheads touching looking into each other's eyes.

"So what's it feel like to be Mrs Ludwig?"

"Amazing," i say "What does it feel like to be my husband?"

"Better than I ever imagined,"

"I love you," i say

"I love you more."


	28. Chapter 28

Oh my lordie! Look this is the last evah chapter to Lost! I hope you guys enjoyed this story, it wasn't as bitchy as school sucks but i hope you guys liked it either way. My new story should be up later today, i don't even know what itll be called yet! Either way i'll put in a couple chapters!

Anyways thanks for the support and i hope that i might reach a total of one hundred reviews after this chapter?!

So this is my bow out until my next story, i guess... bye for now

- Court x

* * *

Epilogue- Chapter Twenty Eight

I zipped up my peachy-pink dress. Yes Katniss Ludwig is was wearing pink, well a shade of it and it was a dress. I slide on my old converse, the amount of memories that come with these are just amazing.

"Looking as radiant as the sun today, I see," says Cato as I push up his tie.

"Not so bad yourself," i say pecking him on the cheek

"This high school reunion is gonna be so weird," he says

"It would be worse if Finnick was a year younger,"

"True," he sits on the edge of the bed and I join him

"You know, these have been the best ten years of my life,"

"Same here," he agrees

"Come on," i say standing up abruptly "We don't want to be late."

* * *

We stare up at the high school sign. Ten years. During those ten years, Effie got rather friendly with Haymitch and they ended up getting married not long after we did, they even adopted Prim and I. However Prim does like to see our real mother from time to time, even though she ended up in prison after being caught with illegal substances. Effie doesn't mind, she's definitely the best second mother ever and well Haymitch... he's always been a father figure to me.

"Mommy, this place is SOOOOO big," says Pandora tugging on my dress. She's the youngest, she's three and her brother Zed is five.

"I know," i say hitching her up and letting her sit on my hip. Meanwhile Zed sits on his dad's shoulders.

We enter through the doors. It hasn't changed. I make my way to the hall.

"JANEY!" yells Pandora at the top of her voice. I put her down and she stumbles off into the direction of Clove's daughter Janey. Clove walks over hand in hand with Marvel, they got back together and got married

"Hey Kat, Cato," smiles Clove. Marvel nods.

"Hey little man," says Marvel high fiving Zed "Max is over by the buffet table,"

"Thanks," says Zed rather cutely before running off to the buffet table," Max is Glimmer and Gale's son. Yeah Glimmer and Gale. Never thought I would say it but Glimmer became a very good mother and wife to Gale. She must really love him.

I hug Clove before Marvel pulls me into one of his bear hugs, before man-hugging Cato.

"Good to see you again," says Clove

"It was only last Sunday," i correct. Ever other Sunday we all gather around Effie's for this beautiful Sunday dinner before playing games in the afternoon. Sundays are for families.

"Going to get drinks with Marvel," says Cato kissing my cheek before walking off to the drinks section

"You two are just too cute," says Clove

"Have you see you and Marvel?" she laughs in response

"You made some good choices Kat," she smiles

"You did too," i smile back

"I can't believe we broke up five whole years ago," she says now smiling sadly

"Yeah, but it was the right thing to do,"

"After all you were pregnant with Zed," five years ago we all decided that the band should split up so we could start family life, in the end we all started a music school called Lost in the Music. It's only small but we have a lot of fun. Pandora is just awesome at strumming her little electric guitar and Zed is an amazing singer. Zed looks like his dad with blonde hair and he has my grey eyes whilst Pandora has dark brown hair like mine and icy blue eyes. Cato calls it the perfect mix "I need to go to the bathroom," says Clove waddling away "MOVE OUT THE WAY PREGNANT WOMAN NEEDS TO PEE!" she shouts and I laugh. Did I tell you she was pregnant? She really wants a boy but i think Marvel wants girl, he likes playing dress up really.

I make my way over to the chairs at the side of the room and sit down. I search through my bag and pull out my scrapbook. It was meant to be a collage of senior year, but it turned out to be a scrapbook of senior year, life on tour, opening Lost in the Music and having the kids.

I flick to one particular pages sprinkled with glitters and dollops of nail varnish. Clove's scrapbook skills. I look at one particular photo, the one Effie took of me and Clove before the party that Peeta kissed me. I particularly love this photo but not the story behind it.

"I remember that day," says a male voice, i look up from the scrapbook and find Peeta Mellark. Panem's largest man whore. "You haven't changed one bit," he smirks sitting down next to me "Now tell me, did Clove force you into that dress or did you just want to look good for me?"

"My husband chose it actually,"

"Ah Cato, thought you two would be divorced by now,"

"And why would that be?"

"Because you truly love me,"

"In your dreams Mellark,"

"I was truly devastated when your precious little band broke up," he says mockingly

"We broke up for all the right reasons," i smirk thinking of my pregnancy. Not an easy one. Zed wasn't easy, he was stubborn, just like his mother.

"Mommy!" says Pandora running over almost tripping over her tiny little feet. I pick her up and spin her around. "Hi, I'm Pandora but everyone calls me Pan," she smiles with an outstretched hand, Peeta looks at me then back at Pan, then repeats this action. He takes her chubby little hand and shakes it lightly

"I'm Peeta," he says with a sincere smile "Is Katniss Everdeen your mommy?" he asks

"No silly, my mommy's last name is Ludwig like me!" she squeals as I pick her up again and twirl her round. I put her back down.

"Where's Zed?" i ask

"Eating choc-choc cake with Max," she says adorably

"Ooh! Yummy!" i say "Go tell Zed to get Mommy and Daddy some chocolate cake, ok? Get yourself some too," she smiles before running off

"Two kids, huh?" says Peeta looking over towards the buffet table where Pandora is talking to Zed

"Yeah," i sigh "Zed's five now, Cato loved the name, Pandora's three now, she's named Pandora because she is always so curious,"

"She's exactly like you," he smiles somewhat apologetically "She's beautiful,"

"Yeah, but she is nowhere near as stubborn as Zed,"

"What's he like?"

"Stubborn, like me, but he has the most adorable smile like his dad as well as his dad's blonde hair and definitely height, he sees the best in everyone much like Cato, and he sure can sing for a five year old,"

"You happy?" he asks

i sigh "Definitely."

* * *

"I can't believe my little girl is getting married," i smile clasping Pan's necklace, I've already cried twice...

"Come on Mom, we've talked about this-"

"And to Max Hawthorne," Gale and I teased them a lot when they started dating

"You didn't cry when Zed got married," she pouts, Zed got married to his long term girlfriend Suzie. They went to the same high school and college. She's a nice girl, she's pregnant also, Zed is going to make a brilliant father.

"Yeah I did, you were too busy with Max," she blushes. I gesture for her to turn around "My little girl is all grown up-" she cuts me off by hugging me

"Knock knock," said Cato poking his head around the door "I thought someone might need some tissues-" he stopped "Pan, you look beautiful," he said as she gave him a twirl

"Thanks dad,"

"Come on, let's get you to that church," he says as we get leave the house and get into the car

"Remember our wedding day?" i ask

"Like it was yesterday."

* * *

"Do you Max Robert Hawthorne, take Pandora Grace Ludwig to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," says Max not taking his eyes off Pan

"And do you Pandora Grace Ludwig, take Max Robert Hawthorne to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," she says looking straight back at him.

Cato puts his arm around me and I turn my head to see Zed with his arm around his wife Suzie, his other hand on her showing stomach. They're happy. My kids are happy.

"They're happy," says Cato confirming my thoughts

"We did a good job, didn't we?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," he stays silent for a moment "I love you,"

"I love you more than you could ever believe."


End file.
